These sunny, warm days... they have been so good to me.
To us.
Kevin blew out thirty-five candles a few weeks back using no fewer than seven aging breaths, and we celebrated with a night of Rock and Roll Bowling. It was a random suggestion from KJ for something fun to do with Dad on his day,
and now it comes highly recommended from our troop. We'd not taken the kids bowling since I was pregnant with Marin, and this was such a great night for our five-- laughing, dancing, slurping slushies and occasionally watching Marin's ball make it from her little hands to the pins in less than three hours.
On another evening we stayed outside well into darkness so that I could teach the kids to catch fireflies (Life List Number 63) with the promise, of course, that they would take good care and release them from jarred captivity before bed. It was incredible fun.
Last weekend we celebrated our country's freedom as we chased down and stuffed pockets full of candy at our town's parade, and we watched fireworks in the park, and grilled and partied, swam and partied some more.
And we have all been celebrating our best buddies this summer. We count ourselves so blessed.
A couple weeks ago the girls and I got together to attend Chicago's Gay Pride Parade, which boasts a colorful, joyful, celebratory-- electrifying atmosphere that I have rarely experienced elsewhere. Beautiful, and fun.
There were seas of people to wade through, an event that I was just happy to be part of. Experiencing the rapture of being alive, as the great Joseph Campbell would say.
A celebration of being who you are and loving who you love.
A moment on a sunshine-filled, colorful day to freely breathe in and out, and celebrate happiness and hope in the face of discrimination-too-often and felt hardship. Celebration, because you are good, whoever you are, and you are created by God and you are part of me, and I you. So in celebrating you I celebrate me, and I pray that your highest potential as a citizen and a human being will be realized.
Celebration and Hope.
I have spent the better part of five months now, digging into the deepest parts of myself and my past, and shaping my best self for now and the future. Last winter was one of the more difficult ones I have navigated, as I cycled through a pretty fair depression and began learning how to lean into my vulnerabilities and heartaches, drawing from the abundance of compassion and validation that abides within. It was something so intense for me that never could have played out here on my blog, and so many times as I posted one quiet set of pictures after the next I wondered what I could do with this writing space anymore. And it became an occasionally-visited holding place, for this segment of its lifespan.
Over the months I read one book after the next-- usually two and three at the same time, and meditated, painted and photographed, balanced my chakras and worked with acupressure and sound therapies and made all sorts of adjustments to my diet. And I have sat in many deep, joyful, tear-filled conversations with a trusted few this year. Letting go of the perfect and opening myself up to the amazing, abundant and true.
Kevin and I explored domestic and Ugandan adoption again, and closed the door (permanently) to the idea of a fourth infant-- even though the thought was a sweet one when it did not include concepts such as weekly trips to the grocery store with four in tow, or homeschool or field trips or sleep, glorious sleep. We tossed around thoughts of relocation to the East Coast and poked through Master's Programs as I ran with hypothetical When's and Why's and How's.
Where do we belong, and who do we need to serve? A shifting of heart, so to speak, and lots of fresh perspective, elation and gratitude. The whole world in a brand new way.
I remain committed to homeschool and being home for now, and staying for want rather than for the unquestioned and unexplored. Committed to something new. And then the valid answer to a few remaining questions, I don't know yet.
We are celebrating-- oh, are we ever. Here, Kevin with our little nephew who is sweet as sugar.
(A moment for me to scrape my melted heart from the patio, if you would.)
And last night a once-in-a-lifetime experience with the ever-inspiring Bono, and his little known band, U2.
A double-coffee kind of summer, if there ever was one.
And celebration, at this moment, much like calling out the color blue and looking around the room to suddenly notice the abundance of that particular hue. Here, so much to be grateful for and excited about.





