Got Kids?

There are people in this world who are just meant to have kids.  Lots of them.  The noise level doesn't bother them, mostly.  The messes-- the learning materials, are something we learn to embrace.  The rewards are so overwhelming some days that you wonder how on Earth you got so lucky to be called to this family, this place, this time. 

We are meant to have a large family.   

When we got married we said we would wait something like three or five years before having children.  (Aww hell, who remembers anymore?)  It was what everyone accepted as the norm, to give us the chance to buy a fun car, vacation and go out to dinner whenever we wanted. 

We tried to wait, and we did the above mentioned things that young married couples are supposed to do by American standard ...until we couldn't any longer.  We didn't make it a year, I think eight months or so, before we started trying for a family.  We celebrated our second wedding anniversary very quietly in a restaurant where our brand new baby boy slept, for once, peacefully in his infant seat.  We were a changed couple forever.

Something funny happened to us with the birth of our third child.  We knew we loved being parents, we knew we were a strong couple both in spite of and because of the ups and downs that come typically to a marriage over the years, but we realized, as a family of five, that we are really, really happy with where our life is headed.  We don't just love kids-- we really love kids.  I don't know the exact moment when I figured this out, but one day it was like waking up to see blue skies and sunshine for the very first time, and knowing for sure that, yes, this is what we are called to. 

Kevin and I are family people.  We enjoy our family time to no end-- watching our kids play their sports, reading together, taking vacations and day-trips and dancing around the kitchen while making dinner.  We understand, and care deeply about the AIDS crisis that is devastating our adopted African country.  We know we are called to an effort, not just to bring a couple of the 147 million orphans worldwide, to the United States to grow up, but to work towards a solution for a country- a continent, that is being wiped out by poverty and disease.   

Figure out what makes you come alive, and do that.

I took the above picture last night, just after our social worker left.  During our homestudy visit our kids did what they do.  They demolished platters of fruit and cheese and crackers, made messes and pushed one in front of the next to tell the new visitor what they knew.  Marin passed out the contents of the paper recylce can to her brothers, Jack gifted my very long (previously recycled) list of Things to Clean to the interested lady.  (Gahhhhh.)  KJ showed off his Bakugan abilities, Jack melted down over an empty Honey Nut Cheerios box, and Marin tipped back my (again, previously recycled) McDonalds pop cup-- straight out of the trash during our interview.  My youngest two emptied the lower kitchen cabinets that they empty every day because it was apparently time to play House.  (Apartments, really.  Marin lives in Tupperware, and Jackson Pots and Pans.)

All of this, while completely normal to those of us in the throes of early parenthood, made me nervous under the watchful eye of one who has been charged with the job of writing a report about us. 

Within a couple weeks our homestudy will be complete, notarized and in our hands.  We now begin the gruelling process of filing official government paperwork with the United States and individual authorities, and will finish putting our Dossier together.  Once that is all sent out, we wait to be approved, and we wait for our child to be referred to us.  Then we must pass court, and travel to Africa. 

Baby steps, right?  One official document at a time, one child at a time.  For now, anway.  (Eeeeee!  A baby!  We are really, really "having" a baby!)

Comments

[Mar]

Molly you give me so much inspiration that yes I can too make all my dreams come true. Glad you had a nice and clean homestudy hahaha and as I said earlier, they expect your house and children to be like that... I'm so excited for all of you and I am here sending you all my love.

[Bethany]

Molly, I admire you. Not because you are adopting a child from Africa (although that's pretty darn cool) but because you know who you are. I can't wait to meet Baby 4!

[BetteJo]

Sounds like your kids were being the regular kids they are, I'm sure it was your reactions being measured. I would have withered under the scrutiny but I have a feeling you did fine. And really - it seems like more babies are meant to be for you.

[Jenny]

I am sure it all was fine. That is only normal! As long as they were weilding Tupperware and not knives I think you are fine!

But the fact that Jack handed the lady your "Things to Clean" list was classic!

[Karen]

I think it was perfectly acceptable for the home study lady to see your kids acting as they typically would. If they were to sit with their hands in their laps and not move, speak, or giggle, she would have been more concerned I'm sure =)

[debi]

I love this post. I think you are such a great family and I cannot wait to hear about the next steps on your way to your new baby. It's so exciting.

[Becky]

Molly,
What the home study lady will see first and most of all is how much your children are loved and just how darn happy they are! Much more important than if you cleaned behind the couch or under the bed! I love reading about this whole process and get so darn excited for you guys!