LOST A SOCK

It's beginning to look a lot like...oh come on, you know...

For what Autumn was this year (which, I think, was my best fall ever) I bid my farewell with a smile and a wave and a heart full of fond memories.  And pictures.  Lots and lots of pictures. 

 
Whether it was homeschool, or Marin making her way to a more manageable age while I settled comfortably into mothering three, or my growing appreciation for nature, I don't know.  Possibly a combination of all of those things.  And I'm hoping Christmas will bring much of the same happiness and good cheer.

Sant, Marin and myself, Thanksgiving 2009

To quote the late Joseph Campbell, "I think that what we're all really seeking (more than even the meaning of life) is an experience of being alive."  I think so too-- that most people, at their core, really want to dig their heels in, and to feel what it is to be alive.  Less going through the motions, less riding out the monotony, less self-medicating.  More being alive.  I want to be alive as often and for as long as I am able.

(Yes, I was most certainly alive at Thanksgiving, champion consuming ninety-four pounds of my mother's home-made stuffing, until I nearly exploded.)

 
Kevin and Jenny cooking, slicing and seriously crazy, at my mom's.

I cannot really say what this holiday season will bring for my family and myself, but this year I put together a simple list of fun and meaningful Christmas activities that I would like to see come together for us.  (Hello, goal oriented!) 

I am so excited about this holiday season, which Kevin and the kids and I really celebrate from just before Thanksgiving until the New Year, hoping to stretch Christmas from what might be only a day or two at best, to an entire month-long celebration of giving, happiness and faith.  Some of the items on my list are complete no brainers, because it wouldn't be the Christmas holiday without them, and others are meant to add a little cheer.  And some of them were completed quickly and crossed out, of course.

• Read The Night Before Christmas (My late-night Christmas Eve tradition with the kids, once they're bathed and in their Christmas pajamas after we come home from Kevin's mom's house)
• Venture out to the mall for a new family picture 
• Bake festive cookies, and sample the dough, of course (We do this every year with my mom.  Lots. Of. Sampling.)
• Take a long drive up Chicago's North Shore to enjoy the holiday lights (We so love doing this, and have added to the tradition in recent years, stopping at Dunkin Donuts for hot chocolates and a box-full of Boston Cremes.) 
• Go Christmas shopping, just Kevin and I, the weekend after Thanksgiving (another long-standing tradition of ours) (thaaaaanks Sant & Leslie, for babysitting!)
• Be thoughtful with the gifts we purchase and make for our friends and family 
• Eat dinner backwards, starting with dessert
• Host a Christmas Movie Party (Something new for this year!)
• Shop with the kids for our giving tree ornaments, one for each child (I started this last year, hoping to teach them how blessed we are to wake up Christmas morning to a family room full of presents.  Each child gets an ornament with an age and gender that corresponds to their own, and picks out and wraps a few presents for him/her.)
• Make popcorn garland
• Get dolled up, have a special dinner and see A Christmas Carol production on stage (We have tickets for Kevin, KJ, Jack and I this weekend!)
• Narrate Christmas stories to each other in front of our fireplace
• Write and mail letters to Santa
• Learn about how Christmas is celebrated all around the world (You're seeing some active homeschool planning in the last few, yes?)  (We begin our unit on Christmas Around The World tomorrow, actually.)
• Make our own gift wrap
• Decorate our house, listening to Christmas music (This is surely one of my favorite events as a mom-- helping my kids to put their collections of ornaments on the tree.)
• Shop with the kids for their parents and siblings (Again, hoping to drive home the concept of giving at this time of year.) 
• Read The Christmas Story

So our house has been decorated, we've sung bunches of Christmas songs.  We are mostly finished with our shopping and I've got some swell art projects planned for homeschool.  I am so happy that we are here already, with 2009 seeming to pass in the blink of an eye.  Knowing how quickly this season, along with everything else, passes, I really hope to savor all of the best parts. 

What are some of your traditions or favorite ways to celebrate the season? 

Totally appropriate, the day before Thanksgiving. Completely.

Hey, remember that time a year and thirteen days ago I started a diet? 

(You love diet talk the day before Thanksgiving, don't you, friends?)

Anyway, a year ago.  Plus thirteen days. 

I had given birth to Marin just a couple months before, and felt ready to hit the hard trail again.  I started Weight Loss Wednesday here, mostly because it worked before, and then a month later I quieted myself about the whole ordeal.  I decided to lose weight without broadcasting my weekly successes and failures to the entire internet this time.  It felt right.

So it took me longer than I thought it would, but I finally hit my pre-pregnancy number again, just this morning!  In the last year and thirteen days, slowly slowly, I lost forty-two pounds, and am now ready again to attack the remaining twenty that I'd never lost the first time around.

Whew!

I've got a very long-standing relationship with food and dieting-- thankfully one that has grown into something more positive than life-threatening over the last four years, but long, long, long-standing nonetheless.

Let us take a quick walk down memory lane, shall we? 

Here are Sant and I, in 2005.  Just about a month before I became pregnant with Jackson.  My loves included giant oatmeal cream pies, flipping channels on television, gossip, complaining and fast food three times a week. 

I don't mean to sound so irreverent about it, but gosh, guys, I don't even know who that person was.

This was my tipping point, not quite one year later and about forty pounds heavier than the picture before.  I was so happy to finally have my baby, but physically and emotionally I was a trainwreck.  I remember being in the hospital after having Jack, talking to my sister about dieting.  I felt, at that time, that if I didn't do something I was going to die.  Not necessarily in a physical way, where I'd up and keel over, but the urge to find myself and pull things together was so strong it was almost tangible for me.  I think back to this time often.

Same mom, same baby.  Eighteen months later.  I did what I had to do, losing ninety-two pounds.  I tackled many of my bad eating habits, dealt with underlying emotions from the past, worked on my self esteem, found myself.  And God I felt better. 

After I reached this point, in the summer of 2007, I let myself coast for six months.  I still had weight to lose, but I desperately needed a break from counting every calorie.  In that time I gained eight pounds--- eight that have haunted me until this day, because just after gaining them I found myself pregnant with Little Missy.

Need to gain a quick fifty pounds?  Crave fruit.  In the most ferocious, maniacal way you can imagine, daily, for nine months. 

After all was said and done last fall, and I had a perfect baby girl, I felt a little defeated.  Who works that hard for that long to lose that much weight, only to do it all over again?

I had two choices, though, to lose it again or stay where I was.  And I didn't want to be where I was.

So here are Sant and I, about a month ago.  Stronger.  On a beach together again, much thinner than our 2005 picture.  Sant had lost her weight forever ago and has successfully kept it off.  I was making my way back.  

This time, my loves are photography, reading, meditating, teaching first grade and preschool in my family room, and most recently, treadmill running.  I enjoy raw vegetables and whole wheat bread, and a Hershey's Kiss every day after lunch.  I embrace my sugar addiction and my ability to lose weight slowly, for as long as it takes until I am not only back to my pre-pregnancy weight (today!) but to twenty pounds down from here, for good.

I also (apparently) enjoy kicking Sant's ass hip,

though I always say I'm sorry and wipe the shoe dirt from her pretty white jacket.

May I not gain forty-two pounds at our (two) Thanksgiving dinners tomorrow, so I can live to see the other side of this denim size.

I think I will.

Damn, that was fun.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.  Among so many things in my life, I am so thankful for you. 

Coming home

In nearly four years of blogging and more than six hundred posts, I don't believe I've ever been away this long.  I'd like to say I was hammering away at the Life List I had left you to stare at for more than two weeks...but really I've just been here and there.  Or, not here.  At all.  For no real reason, really.  And I'm sorry.

Now late in November, I feel us beginning to settle in for the long winter ahead, our first as a homeschooling family.  We have not a single daily appearance to make, besides our semi-weekly engagements with basketball and library class, and so begins the very first time in several years where I will work to ensure that each of us see the light of day often enough. 

At fourteen months old Marin is leaving her infancy back in the dust, now having learned to run through the house to keep up with her brothers, and developing her own interests, and growing her vocabulary. 

And teeth.  May I not forget to mention the entire mouthful of molars that have been working to join the party.  Four coming through on top, and a whole lot of swelling on the bottom.  We're down to bottles only before naps and bedtime, and definitely a fine case of separation anxiety.  Hello Toddlerville!

Separation anxiety, that is, unless we're talking about spending four hours in Barnes & Noble.  Then there is no fear at all associated with getting lost, or left, or possibly kicked out for destroying the entire children's section.  Twice.  Then it is all about running away.  And being chased.

(And why, you ask, are we spending four hours in a book store?) 

Reeeeeee!

If you've not been reading the Pioneer Woman for all of these blogging years, you're missing out on something big.  Go, and start with the Black Heels saga.  You'll thank me later.  (I've been both amazed and appalled at the number of people who've not known to squeal with me when I mention this book signing.  People, are you living under a rock??)  

(I didn't mean to insult you.  We've not visited with each other in a couple weeks.  Take me back.)

One of PW's stops on her Griswold Family Book Tour was a close-enough Chicago suburb, which Kevin's aunt and I were all over like white on rice, I tell you, having read her from some of her earliest entries. 

I was a bit sad when I didn't make it to this past summer's BlogHer conference, knowing that Ree would be speaking...and later learning from a few of my blogger pals-in-attendance that Marlboro Man, too, was there.

And, well...

Neener-neener-neener!

I KNOW!

What a fun evening, and truly, what a great family. 

Back at our own homestead, deciding to enjoy every last moment of chilly, not-yet-cold weather, KJ and Jackson have been spending quite a bit of time on their bikes.  And wouldn't you know, though I worried at times it might never happen, my seven year old has taken to two wheels! 

For sure, with all of the milestones our crew has been hitting lately, and with the quick approach of Jack's fourth birthday, I am feeling life pass in the blink of an eye these days. 

...Making me even more grateful to have this unique opportunity, to not only stay home with my children, but to fully participate in each of their educations.

 

Three months into the school year, we've got our routine down pretty well.  We've switched up some things that were not working, and a few workbooks, too, and we're learning how to manage time and stay motivated, and focused.  I am forever glad to look back, even at what we'd done three months ago, to see what progress has been made with each of the kids.  I continue to stand by my original plan, to homeschool year-by-year, for as long as it works for each child, and I'm open to where that takes us.

(I have every good intention for writing an entire post dedicated to the nuts and bolts of our schooling, because I definitely don't want this time to get away from me without being documented.  ...Just not at half past midnight, eh?)

So now with one Thanksgiving down, and two more left to go, I am thankful to be back to the blogosphere, and I promise not to go far, for long, any time soon. 

(Which is code for, Hey! how about an abrupt ending?!  I need to be up in five hours and my eyes are crossing after yet another busy weekend, but if I don't post this now, as non-sensical and jumpy as it is becoming, it may be another week.  By then, with all three Thanksgivings under my readjusted belt, and a perfectly trimmed Christmas tree!  Heh.)

Last Of...

So I couldn't help but squeeze every last drop out of this fall. 

If there were six leaves left on the trees, I was going to find them.

In fact, one of the things we've been learning about in homeschool is how plants and trees make food via photosynthesis...which totally called for an afternoon at our favorite zoo, where many different trees are labeled by type. 

Surprise!  I exist in these outings!

We drew pictures, recorded information and made leaf rubbings in our journals.  Then some Canadian Geese came by for a visit, smelling our Teddy Grahams.

Which was the greatest thing that could have ever happened to KJ, whose current obsession is the 1996 movie Fly Away Home.  He's spent weeks now, trying to convince Kevin and I that we must buy a new house (because we totally need three) and soon.  A country house, where we can raise geese.  He wants to teach them to fly South.  Build a plane, teach them to follow his calls.  We've borrowed the movie from our library so many times in the last month I believe they may gift it to our family for Christmas.  Maybe they can use all of our recent Canadian Geese paintings as wrapping paper.

Possibly the blessing in disguise was when he realized that these creatures are more like our pesky, begging German Shepherd than amazing call-answering companions.  Once they got a small nibble of Teddy Graham, they followed us everywhere, snapping at our legs and honking their fool heads off.

Now we mostly like to watch them in the sky.

For Halloween this year, I decided the only way it could be was to head back over to our old neighborhood, where the oaks and maples stand hundreds of years tall, decorating all lawns and sidewalks with yellow-orange leaves.  We've trick-or-treated the last two years in our (newly constructed) (treeless) (sad) subdivision, and I really needed Fall for Halloween. 

Lucky for me, my crew is happy to walk wherever free chocolate is available.

The Three Amigos-- Batman, a Kangaroo with her Joey, and Luke Skywalker, very specifically dressed in all in black, no cape, just like Luke in Return of the Jedi.  I wish that child wasn't so general with his requests.  Heh heh.

It was such an incredible fall this year. 

I would really hate to see it go, if not for something quite wonderful in itself, right around the corner.

The one that didn't get away

I think I've written twelve, or possibly fifty posts about Marin in my head recently, attempting to stay atop her babyhood since, let's face it, there'll be no baby book as it flies by.  Unfortunately, for much the same reason there's yet to be a baby book (which is: Because I Can Barely Keep Up With The Baby) it has been difficult to grab a moment or three to blog about this girl.

Except for now, because It Must Happen. 

So let us speak about Babies and Kitchens, for a moment, shall we?

Wait.

Let us speak honestly about babies and kitchens...

Aah, now that's better. 

No, no, please, don't bother picking anything up.  She will just pull it all right back out and then you'll weep.  Might as well just step over it.  Or, kick it!  Like the boys do! 

...And ask me to wash it before you eat off of it. 

...And unpile the trash and recycle can pile if you really need to throw something away. 

...Or whine, if you're the dog and cannot reach your food and water dishes wayyy up there on the counter from three hours ago.

And please for the love of all things holy, keep the dishwasher closed and the handle at the halfway point between open and closed or she'll either turn it on or open the door and climb right in, heading first for the very sharpest object available. 

Who, me?

I love this baby.

Initially I fought the power, trying cabinet locks that didn't hold, and using the old fashioned "No!" as she yanked the blender, chopper and serving dishes galore from down under.  

Then I grew a brain and filled the end cabinet with all things plastic, and made her happy.

What the hell is this metal baking sheet doing in here?  Clearly my mother cannot sort.

Be gone from my sight!

Hey look!  A brother!

A Duplo-yielding brother, at that!

Behold my angelic baby innocence, and keep it in the forefront of thou mind.

You know what these Duplos are good for? 

Only one thing...

 
Breaking! 

Then throw 'em down on the floor, right at his feet.

Once you're a safe distance away, tease him like crazy.  

Tell him you're going to throw a giant plastic useless cake thing at him, and that for sure will distract him enough. 

He will start to chase you, and that will give you the perfect chance to dart over and...

...take down the next tower. 

Heh heh heh.

Smash!

This four minutes of household destruction brought to you by...my stripey chip and dip plate.  May it make it through the storms, someday to see more than just toddler feet again.