Precious Four

In a post written a couple weeks ago, I casually presented the idea that Kevin and I have decided that our family should continue to grow.  It was the post about the homeschool conference, and I planned that the post to follow would include our semi-announcement.  And then this came up and that, and I didn't have a solid chunk of time to sit down and think about what I was going to write about baby number four (you know, with all of these other kids running around, whatever) and by now I've completely psyched myself out about it because I've waited too long.  I should never keep secrets from you, Internet.  Lesson learned.

Back when I was a teenager I always said I wanted seven children.  My oldest girlfriends can attest to it.

When Kevin and I began dating in 1997, I mentioned to him that I would like to raise a large family, maybe seven children.  He thought that was nice, and asked how I felt about two. 

(Which, really, is a best outcome when you mention seven children to your college boyfriend.  Kudos to him for not barreling down the dormitory hall in search of the nearest tapped keg, after receiving that information.)

We sort of left it up in the air after that, until we struggled with infertility while trying for KJ and Jack, combined with the terribly unhealthy pregnancies and premature births.  After that we decided that we should be finished having children, so grateful for the ones we were able to have. 

But every once and a while one of us would say to the other that maybe someday, far down the road, we could adopt.  We were decidedly done, but sort of not, you know?

In January of 2008 we were both shocked and panic-stricken as we learned of our surprise pregnancy that was Marin Ann.  By then our minds were settled into just can't, and we even bought a zippy little Mercedes Benz to prove it.  We were totally caught off guard that winter morning with the chicken craving and the two pink lines, to the point where I vacillated something crazy, for weeks, between sheer terror over how I would manage three young children by myself all day, but also feeling intense hormone-backed guilt, fearful to offend our little surprise sweetheart nestled quietly in my womb.  As cliche as it sounds, it was one of those things that would change all of us forever. 

(Goodbye, little black Mercedes Benz. Goodbye.)

The story comes to now, where every day I care for our three children in ways I once only dreamed possible.  Yes, those early, sleepless, transitioning months were rough, but now the calm has re-settled into my life - one I'd not even known until recent years, and I love what my family is growing into, and how I choose to spend my days.  This group of five we've become is my every happiness, and now we know for sure that we are called to more.

For a few months now, we've been going over the pros and cons of my carrying a fourth baby.  The questionable infertility, though, and the risky pregnancy.  Not to mention the way a fourth c-section is generally frowned upon by the obstetric community.  But another sibling to join our group, with little fingers and toes and a bulky toddling diaper butt, and all the love in the world.  A fuller dinner table, and another homeschooling partner.  He will love our backyard pool with the water slide, for sure.

Our minds began searching elsewhere for precious baby number four, a bit nervous even to bring it up in a serious way for the first time, not knowing exactly how the other would respond to the suggestion.  It's a big deal.  It's terribly expensive.  It's more complicated than nine months to cotton footed sleepers.

But now that first suggestion has long passed, and a sure thing has come into our great picture, we are full steam ahead.  And since we've begun working on the logistics and discussed it with our respective families, I am so excited to share our next step in this awesome journey with you.

Early next fall, just about a year from now, we will begin the adoption process.  We will need a year to save our money and educate ourselves with what we'll need to know, and then provided we are all healthy and mostly prepared, we will apply to adopt a baby from Africa. 

I have always been drawn to Africa, so it was really a no-brainer for us where our child would come from.  There are 4.6 million orphaned children in Ethiopia alone, with another five more added to that number every minute due to the AIDS crisis that is going on there.  Of those, approximately one in six of those orphaned children will die of starvation or disease by their fifth birthday.  We know we belong there, and we pray that someday we will bring our next miracle child home from there.

Maybe it was something we didn't think possible, at one time, because it was simply the wrong time.  Maybe we weren't the right people back then.  But when I think about it now, in the light of all the yes conversations we've had over the last several months, it doesn't make anything but perfect sense.  I am finally so thankful for the infertility and the worrisome pregnancies past, for my c-sections and their limitations, and for everything that has brought us to right here. 

And, whew, I'm so glad to finally have the freedom to talk about it here, and everywhere.

Comments

[cathy]

Such exciting news!!!! Good luck and lucky child over there.

[cindy]

You are such a fantastic mom and you guys have so much love to give. That child that you end up carrying home, will not know how LUCKY they are to have a family like yours!!

So, my vote is YES!! Go for it!!
(not like you really need my vote anyhow.)

It will be great to have another "cousin " to play wth!!

I can not wait to hear all about it!!!

love ya!

[Becca]

This is such wonderful and exciting news to read. I look forward to following your new journey! I think your family will continue grow in so many ways, not only in numbers. Thanks so much for sharing with us again.

[C @ Kid Things]

What great, exciting news! There are so many kids out there that need a loving home.

[Michelle Z]

ooooh!! YAY YAY YAY! How fun!! Fun? Well... how fantastic!? I don't know, but I'm so excited for your family!!

[BetteJo]

OMG! What a wonderful thing for you and your family and hopefully some terrific little one. I am always happy when I see someone who SHOULD have children take this step and I am so excited to read about your journey through the process. I DO hope you'll keep writing now that you've given us THIS huge carrot!

[Ann]

That's wonderful news! Good luck with the journey you will be embarking upon!

Did you know there is another blogger in Northwest Indiana who is the process of adopting in Uganda right now? Here's a link to her blog:

http://momentswithlove.blogspot.com/

[Alissa]

That is some VERY exciting news! Keep us posted!

[SheilaB]

I think this is a wonderful idea.
I follow several blogs of people who have adopted from Russia, Europe, Africa, and China. They all seem to be very happy. If you would like I am sure I could get one of them to talk to you. Actually I have one in mind already. She has adopted 2 already from China and in the process of doing more. If you are interested I will give you her email and blog addy. Sorry I do not like to just give them out without permission. Although the blog is not private but still.

I am not sure if you know this or not but it usually takes from 9mos - 1yr for the actual adoption to be completed and you get the child. I wanted to make sure you knew that just in case you were expecting it to happen right away after you apply. From what I have learned with reading these blogs it is really a lot of paperwork and crap if you ask me. LOL!! I think it is awesome that someone from America is willing to help these precious little children out but then their Government wants to take their time approving the American. I want to yell at them "Hello we are trying to help these little kids who do not have anyone to love them. So why do you take so long to approve them." LOL!!
Every country appears to have a different time line from start to finish too.

Please keep us posted and let me know if you want this lady's name and stuff. She seems to be a wonderful person.

[Frema]

Well, look what happens when I don't check blogs over the weekend. Hot damn!

You and Kevin are the perfect people to nurture a large family. I have no doubt that the right child will find his way to you. And then another. And another. I am so excited for all of you!

[Erica]

Good luck! How exciting.

[Rachel]

Molly, this is wonderful news! You guys have so much love to give and I think it's wonderful that you are going to give a loving home to a child that, otherwise, might never know one!

[Jenny]

So excited to read today's post. You and your husband have made a very caring and mature decision. We have 7 adopted children in our extended family, and the holidays are a complete blast. Five were adopted from Russia, and from everything I've heard, it is a big waiting game, but it will come to an end! The process may seem slow and tedious, but it's worth it. Can't wait to hear more later. Best of luck!

[Becky]

Hi Molly,
I saw the little hint you dropped a week or so ago and was patiently waiting for the announcement that you were expecting... the little twist of adoption has left me even more excited than the news of a new baby would have. What a wonderful gift you are giving to a very special little one. I have many friends who have adopted over the years and each and everyone has said it was the very best thing they have ever done. It's wonderful news to hear your family will be blessed with four or more little ones! ☺

[Tina]

How very exciting! I am so happy and excited that you and Kevin decided to have more children! you guys are such great parents and awesome people/friends! wish you the best of luck with the process! =)

[SJ]

Oh you totally made me cry! Expanding your family of 5 to 6 is exciting in itself, then to read that you are going to adopt a little one from Africa just makes my heart soar.

Best of luck to you guys on this journey, I'll be following along all the way! I'm so excited for you guys!

[Julie]

WOW! So very exciting and awe-inspiring. I'm so thrilled for your family and can't wait to read your journey. Best wishes and lots of luck - I hope all the stars align and everything goes smoothly.

[Fraulein N]

How lovely! I wish you and your family the best of luck.

[Laylabean]

I think this is awesome! Are you hoping to find a boy or a girl, or does it matter?

[Amy Guyette]

Wow! Somehow I thought that 3 might not be complete... Call me. Would love to talk to you about it!

[Nicole Rogalski]

Long time reader of your blog - I have a very good friend who has adopted 2 children from Ethiopia. Please feel free to contact me if you would like to be in touch.

[Angela]

What lovely news to pop in and read. Congrats Molly!