Family Outing

Since forever, my sister Sant has been a very close member of my little family.  She and I are three years apart in age, and growing up we played and argued like normal sisters.  We shared a small, yellow, bunkbedded bedroom until I was twelve and then suddenly I needed my (sigh here, loudly and dramatically) space, even though at the time as the oldest child in a family of six, the only space I could find was in our hot, unfinished attic where I slept two nights with pillows and blankets spead out on large plastic-wrapped packages of fiberglass insulation.  (All I can say is that I was so twelve, and move along.) 

Of course, I took Sant to the attic with me.  Do you really think I was going to sleep up there alone?

My parents guessed correctly that with all the drama that is a twelve year old girl, possibly I did need my own room, and they allowed me to paint the basement storage room gloomy grey (which met me half way since I was unbelievably twelve and deeply desired to paint it black) and move down there.

Where a good percentage of the time, I invited my sister down with me to sleep throughout all of high school on an old black leather couch handed down from my grandparents, which she will someday blame for back problems.

In 1996 we moved from Chicago to Northwest Indiana, and four days later I went away to college. 

Upon returning home from college, the summer before my wedding, Sant was again formally invited to join me in slumber on my new bed, purchased for my new house.  And there we spent summer evenings watching episode after episode of Who Wants to be a Millionare, as well as chick flick movies to infinity, with my window air conditioner cranked to high, under mounds of blankets.  Also we used our family's trampoline to work on our tans that summer, and ate lots of cheese and mushroom pizza.  (Which subsequently helped neither my sister nor I fit into a wedding gown and maid-of-honor dress.)

Finally I moved out of my parents house permanantly, just as I began my first teaching job and Kevin and I purchased our first house.  It would be two months until Kevin moved in, though, and if you've noticed a trend by now you can probably guess that I invited Sant to come stay with me at my new house.  And she did.

In 2001 Sant went away to college and I called her and emailed her and bugged her to death.  In 2002 KJ was born and Sant was the obvious choice for his godmother. 

She stayed with us again, on random weekends from time to time, in order to play with the baby and save my first-time post-partum ass.  Kevin, Sant and I passed that non-sleeping constantly-vomiting baby from person to person, day and night, and always wondered how that tiny precious boy could turn upside down the lives of three grown adults with sleep deprivation.  (Heh, we were quite unskilled back then, for sure.)

Then three years later when I was pregnant with Jack, on bed rest for several months to his birth, Sant came to stay with us for a few months to help.  She had just graduated from college and had yet to find a job, so she, KJ and I watched Elmo dvd's and cranked the air conditioning all summer, and snuggled up in blankets. 

She stayed with us for the next several years for most of each week, heading to my parents house on weekends in order to give everyone the proper amount of space.  We avoided the pizza this time, deciding that we should lose weight together, and collectively lost nearly two-hundred pounds.

Late one night during that two years of great weight loss and taking better control of our lives, Sant revealed to me that she was gay.  She didn't just think maybe she was gay, or simply hadn't dated enough guys (whom she always thought would make good friends, but alas, no spark,) she was sure and had been for a while.  She said that for the sake of avoiding the whole "outing" herself to everyone we know, and for fear of being shunned or rejected, she really thought for a while that she could hide it forever, and maybe even marry a nice guy and try to conform.

It wouldn't have worked, though, because we were well into realizing that a person gets one shot at life, so it might as well be good.  It was the bravest thing she would have to do, I think, when she one-by-one told friends and family over months' time, having no idea how anyone would take it, fearing that she could even lose important relationships.  But thankfully, it didn't change anything for anyone.

 

I was so excited for her to be exactly who she is.

And we celebrated at Chicago's Pride Parade that summer with jello shots.

And then a little while later she met Leslie online. 

And a little while after that, about a year ago, Leslie moved here from the west coast, and we all got a Leslie.  (Who happens to be one of Marin's best pals.)

They've stayed with us a couple days each week for the last year, and KJ, Jack and Marin have had the chance to bond with Leslie, too.  It is always the hope that your "person" fits in with all of your other people, and I say with much honesty that Leslie is not only the perfect person for Sant, but also a perfect fit in our family. 

And though I cannot yet post pictures of all of the fun projects my mom and I concocted for the day, tomorrow we will host a shower for Sant and Leslie, who will close on their first house this week.  Their first house, seven minutes from my doorstep.  Let the new chapter begin, where I my three children my three children and I on seperate occasions venture over to their house for sleepovers with icy cold air conditioning, cozy blankets and relaxing movies.

Where I will happily sleep on the couch.

Comments

[Tina]

Tell Leslie and Sarah I say congrats! how very exciting! =)

[Erica]

Ok, the comment I made on your previous post should go w/ this post. Congrats to your sister and yea for you...babysitters, who are close!

[BetteJo]

Coming from a family that is not very close I think it's wonderful you and Sant have such a close relationship. It would have been tragic indeed, had she decided to "fit in" and hide who she really was her whole life. I'm glad she hasn't met with any negativity from friends and family and has been able to find love.
Life is short - grab it while you can!

[debi]

A great post. I always dreamed of having a sister to share everything with. We all need to be accepted for who we really are.I am happy that Sant has found love and what a bonus that she fits right in with everyone.

[crookedeyebrow]

Isn't having a sister the best? My sister and I are 3 years apart and I can totally relate.

Your sister seems amazing and I am so very happy that she found Leslie. Many congrats to them on their first home!

Will you be painting like a mad woman over there too?

[Fraulein N]

Aww, this was so sweet. That's great that you have such a wonderful, close relationship with your sister. And good for Sant for being true to herself! Congrats to her and Leslie!

(Can I just say, though, that when I saw that first picture? I kind of wondered why you were dressed like that. Then I realized it was YOUR MOM. Holy crap, you guys look alike!)

[cindy]

Congrats Sarah and Leslie!! May you make tons of memories in your new home!!

[Laylabean]

Hooray for sisters - sounds like you both got a good one! I love the "out" picture, so clever.

[Frema]

Ah, yes, I love me a good sister.

I'm so happy for Sarah and Leslie. And sisters. Did I mention that? Love sisters.

[Ann]

Sisters are indeed the best! How great that Sant found someone like Leslie. Congrats on their new home and how lucky for you to have them nearby.

You really look a lot like your mom!

[liz]

love love love

all you need is...

(congrats to sant and leslie!)

[Stacey]

What a sweet tribute to your sister - I always wanted a sister, and I can't wait to watch my girls as their relationship develops over the years. Leslie and Sant make an adorable couple - congrats to them!

[Jenny]

What a great post - so craftily written (craftily is a word, isn't it?)
I am so happy for both of them.

[Jen L.]

This is one of my all-time favorite posts of yours. Congrats to Leslie and Sant on the new house! They sound like a perfect match.

The picture of Sant by the "Out" sign is fantastic. This post made me want a sister. :)

[Bethany]

Glad your sister is happy and won't go too far from you!

Too bad they didn't buy your rental... ;)

[Jeanne M. Maza]

Love you guys. What is right is right.

[SJ]

Congratulations to Sant and Leslie on their new house! What a happy story, I'd be proud if Sant were my sister too!

[Angela]

Mazel Tov Leslie and Sant on their new home!! As someone with ZERO relationship with my sister that is 3 years apart, I envy you and Sant yours. And really, we all should have a Leslie and Sant (of course, all I know about them I've read here but I've met you and I know you are just as ab-fab in person).