Heads I win, Tales you lose

I painted with the kids again today.

This may sound like No Great Accomplishment to some, but whenever I manage to pull off this monumental task with three active little kids I always get the feeling that I Win At Motherhood.  At least until someone begins flipping paint onto my decent shirt and wipes Deep Sea Blue on my hanging white bath towels.  Or when I turn around to find Little Miss Exersaucer four inches behind me sucking on the plastic garbage bag from the paper recycle can.  Then, Hey! I Suck At Motherhood.  (But look!  Art, accomplished!)

*

Times have been rough here, lately.  We took a chance in a really big way a while back (which, in our defense, was not presented as "A Chance" back then, but rather "Incredible Opportunity Which Would Be Completely Crazy To Pass Up") and it is in mid-stages of imploding.  I've got approximately four people whom I can vent my heartaches to, and of course the internet is off limits for now.  My mind has been racing through our days over the last week or so, and by dinnertime I am dying to get the kids in bed so I can have a good cry already.  I want them to feel secure, and shelter them from grown-up worries as best I can.  You've felt this, right Internet? 

This may get worse before it gets better.  I choose to hold onto hope when it is honest, and panic as needed.  (Where needed equals often.)  I would love to believe that the best case scenario will play out here, but I have no way of knowing what will happen in time.  I know we will get through it somehow, though, because nothing lasts forever.  We do not fail until we give up (but we do constantly worry until we feel adequately sick.)

*

Attempting to witness the action, Jack managed to pee in his own hair today.  Newly potty trained boys can be dangerous.  I wiped his head on the painted blue bath towel.  Good enough until bath time tonight.

*

Our house-buying renters have sworn to us that they will carry out an entire one year contract if we are willing to offer it.  Selling the house at this moment is sure financial ruin; renting it for another year is only possible demise.  Dare we believe them?

*

Though I've not been documenting it here, I have lost thirty of the fifty pounds I gained during my pregnancy with Marin.  I finally feel like I am getting somewhere.

*

This morning I made appointments for my ovarian tumor re-check and a root canal.  I scheduled them for the same afternoon, back to back.  That should be fun, no? 

*

I am so grateful to be thirty.  I never could have handled all this shit at once, at twenty-five.

Comments

[crookedeyebrow]

I'll start off by saying that I'm so very impressed that you have lost that weight! By you feeling good about yourself, hopefully the rest will fall into place.

with Jack??? I haven't laughed that hard all week.

I do hope that all your worries turn out to be for nothing. I sincerely do wish you the best and I'll be thinking of you!

[Jen L.]

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.

OH, Jack.

[H]

Thinking good thoughts for you and hoping things turn out as well as they can.

Haha! My daughter is starting to get the hang of potty training and my son is not so interested at this moment and that's more than fine with me. Pee in the hair...I can wait for that ;)

[Nikki]

You have to admit Jack is a gifted child. Well done on the weight loss, that is truly impressive. Fingers are crossed for a good outcome with everything, you deserve it.

Hugs and good wishes coming your way!

[Frema]

Call me. Maybe it's late, but just call me. Don't be afraid to just call me. Call me and I'll be around (after LOST).

[Erica]

Congrats on the weight loss, Awesome! Also, Jack, peeing in his hair? Hysterical. I too have a blue painted towel, courtesy of Ben and an exploding bingo dauber. I have had something going on in my life for the past year and a half and it involves my mother, grandmother and uncle and a farm, so none of them are speaking to me, but it was finally settled in court yesterday. Fun times...I think I might have a break down sometime this week, it just hasn't hit me yet. It is hard to not write about something, yet there are things that just don't need to be put out there for the whole world to view. So I understand what you are saying. Hope it all goes well for you. I will keep my fingers crossed on the renters.

[Cindy]

Please call if you need to vent. We havent had a good cry together In a REALLY long time!

Hang in there ~ Love ya!

[Tina]

give me a call, freak! if you are free Thursday or Friday afternoon, let me know. I would love to get together. I am making dinner for Brian tomorrow evening and will be in the area and would love to get together.

[debi]

Sending good thoughts your way and wishing that they could actually make a difference.

[Laylabean]

Oh Molly! You're giving me flashbacks to a few years ago when we got involved in a "sure thing" that turned out to be a huge risk and not pleasant. I'm so sorry. You're right, it won't last forever, but it sure sucks when you're going through it.

Hugs and happy thoughts to you! Drop me an email if you want to commiserate or to vent - seriously.

[rkmama]

In the last two weeks my dog ran out in front of a motorcycle costing us, um, some money, my cat lit herself on fire via the candles set out for a romantic evening and my son shat on the floor, stepped in it and took a nice poop walk around the room.
I hope this helped.
Thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome, and in the mean time? Cry all you want.
ps-To be able to accomplish weight loss during a gut-wrenchingly stressful time is something to be proud of. Be good to you.

[BetteJo]

Yeah, if I was having a hard or stressful time I'd be hip-deep in dark chocolate and slathered in marshmallow fluff. Good for you on the weight loss! And by all means - if venting is not good here - do it somewhere. It helps!
Good luck!

[Jenny]

My gifted, gifted godson!