Which is when I discovered that I should have thought of this sooner

When I called the end of tv time early this afternoon, they shut it off and asked what we should do next.  And while I would normally respond with something like, lunch followed by Play-doh, Legos or whatever is of typical interest to them, today I suggested that they make lunch for all of us, and wash the kitchen floor.  To be funny.

And then KJ excitedly called sandwich duty.

And Jack jumped at the chance to wash the kitchen floor.  ...And he was thrilled to pose threats of sweeping up Duplo blocks if they weren't picked up by the time he reached them.  I have no idea where he learned that from.

Not that they are unaccustomed to jobs around the house-  I began giving the kids responsibilities years ago, and I can't say they've ever given me too hard of a time about helping.  So now I get to add floor scrubber to the list.  (And subsequently, fridge scrubber, Duplo scrubber, living room carpet scrubber and dog scrubber.  We do what we can at Age Three, you know?)

So I suppose this is where I can segue into a topic I've brushed past a few times here, though I've not gone into much depth about it before. 

Through a combination of laziness and being unsure of exactly how to present it, I neglected to post entries containing all of the hemming and hawing that went into deciding whether we should take the plunge into homeschooling.  I spent the last couple years quietly kicking the idea around in my brain, and recent months really going back and forth weighing guilt and opportunity, sanity and bravery, what is best for the kids, best for me, best for my career, best for their future.

Homeschooling was a completely foreign concept to me for the longest time.  Where I grew up on the south side of Chicago, kids went to public school or Catholic school from eight a.m. until two thirty every day and no one thought any different about it.  Then I became an elementary teacher myself, endorsed in everything from the standard K-6 classroom to Early Childhood Development to Reading & Language Arts to Special Education K-12 to infinity and beyond.  I was either an overachiever in college, or Just That Awful at deciding exactly what I wanted to teach.  And even while teaching up until (yeesh) seven years ago, I'd not thought much about homeschooling.  I loved the classroom and all of the possibilities that existed for the kids I taught.  Sure, there were the typical issues that forever had me scratching my head, like how to meet the needs of all of these little individuals at the same time given the wide variety of learning needs and levels and interests, but that was something that I accepted for what it was because at some point it just had to be with a room of twenty-two children and one adult.  I did what I could.  And so it is with KJ's teachers at his school.

Everything changed, in my mind, when I had children of my own.  (Doesn't it always?)  As KJ got set to begin his first year of preschool I looked high and low for something that would be the right fit.  Our town is somewhere in the middle of Fantastic and Pretty Freaking Awful, and we settled on a decent option for him. 

A few months into that first year I knew for sure that while my son was having a good time making friends in school, he was far ahead of the learning curve and wasn't really getting anything academic out of the experience.  (Which with school, is always nice, yes?)  I carefully approached the idea in a conversation with his teacher, who plainly responded by asking what I would like her to do about that.  And it wasn't like I could add to her lesson plans or force accelerated content on the class for the sake of my kid, so I changed my view of preschool from Academia to Daily Playdate For Which We Pay Tuition.  And over the next two years I taught my child to read and write, add and subtract and everything in between, after school.  As I had done from the get-go, I never forced anything on him.  I moved at his pace and we explored his interests.  And as Jack grew in the picture, I did the same with him.  We spent days at the zoo and various museums, and simply taking long double stroller walks down the main street of our town discussing what each business was for and pointing out letters, numbers, vehicles and sounds as we encountered them.  I mothered in the way that was natural for me, and they learned as they explored their curiosities.

Then while house hunting a while back we literally used local school ratings as our guide.  We looked at public, private, Montessori, younameit.  Then things took a new direction and we ended up staying right in little old Town Familiar as our temporary solution, and I signed KJ up for kindergarten at our local public school.  He made more friends and I participated in his classroom every chance I got.  I was a little nervous as they began the year by learning colors, shapes and letters, where as KJ knew shapes and colors even before age two, and was a fluent reader by this point.  He was mostly enjoying himself though, and what could I do?  I wasn't about to approach his teacher for some sort of tweaking for my kid.  So instead I thanked my lucky stars that he only attended morning kindergarten, still giving me most of the day with him to play and naturally learn however and whatever he wanted.

By January of this year I was just plain disappointed with school.  In the work KJ brings home daily, at least four to six worksheets from his short three hour day, he rarely attempts writing neatly, never colors in the lines.  I am positive that he has realized his teacher isn't concerned with any sort of neatness, and therefore neither is he.  I can see that everything is rushed through because it doesn't require much thinking on his part.

I remember being bored in elementary school (ok we all do, yes?)  In as early as second grade I recall taking my sheets of math problems and systematically filling in the answers to make designs on the page.  In third grade my teacher used to send home extra, more difficult work for me, and I adored her for it (pastel blue sheets of Brain Buster math problems, and difficult phonics sheets with lots of fill-in-the-blanks on dotted lines.)  In fourth grade I once pretended to not understand long division, and I remember snickering within because it was sort of fun to be in the group that was pulled aside for extra help...while I made up confused faces with my actual confused friend Mary Beth.  During that same year I was scolded something terrible in front of the entire class for using red pen to correct my own work.  I had been playing teacher and it apparently didn't get me far with my own teacher (I never was too crazy about her after that.) 

I always got pretty average grades, oddly enough.  I knew it was what I could get by with, and I never felt any real reason to go the extra mile.  High school was much of the same, and when our junior class was all abuzz about whether or not they would be inducted to the Honors Society I was more irritated than anything with the entire idea, and opted to not apply at all.  By my last year of high school I knew I would be going to college for my degree in Elementary Education, and I jumped at the chance to ditch Physics on my elective sheet and go into Parenting and Child Development.  My school adviser was none too happy with that idea, pushing and pushing for damn Physics.  I didn't see the point, though, and had no inclination to stress myself out for no reason.  I took the child development class, learned Piaget and carried my blown out baby egg around for two weeks, and had a great time.  I decided to get straight A's my last semester of high school just to prove to myself I could do it.  And I did.  (Henceforth giving birth to collegiate obsessions with perfect grades, ta-daaa.)

Now, I cannot predict that my kids will have the same experience as I did with school.  Maybe things could get better there?  It isn't like there aren't sure positives for attending school - for both myself and for them.  But on the other hand, I can't help but wonder whether there is another way to go about this education thing.  If the goal of primary education is to learn certain facts and be able to make intelligent and necessary contributions to society once adulthood is reached, surely there could be more than one avenue to achieve that.  Just because School Eight to Two Thirty is the generally accepted way most certainly does not make it the only way or even the right way for every family.  I keep coming back to the idea that simply because we have a certain address in a certain town at a certain month of the year, is that really what should determine when and what each of my children is ready to learn?  What if they could instead learn at their own paces, using their interests as guides and the world as their classroom?  It's worked out thus far.

I have no doubt that KJ, Jack and Marin will receive an education and go on to college if we decided to keep them in traditional school for the coming years.  And I'm pretty sure that I would finally be awarded the fine break that every mother looks forward to once I ship them off each day - I could drink coffee at the bookstore! see a movie! earn my Masters! SLEEEEEEEEP!  But in spending all of these months and years intuitively aiming for the most honest, most appropriate path for my life I can't shake the nagging feeling that urges me to at least try this homeschool thing.  Last year when I learned I was pregnant with Marin, so much of my plan changed, and I opened myself up to so many new possibilities.  And this one seems fitting.

I have nothing against schools in general or anyone who happily sends his or her child to one, and I don't necessarily have the Way To Give It a Try pat on the back from everyone I've discussed this with.  But we are indeed going to try this homeschool thing next year, I can say with fair certainty, because there's an opportunity here for my children and myself, and I'd be so silly not to take it.

Comments

[BetteJo]

Well - you ARE a teacher. It would seem a natural progression. And I would venture to say it's pretty obvious that you will be a wonderful teacher for your own children!

[Jen L.]

As always, you seem to be listening to your gut. Trust it.

[debi]

With all my kids and the fact that I had no confidence in my abilities to homeschool I did love to wave them all good bye each day. I really think you are going to be very happy and the kids too.

[AJU5's Mom]

Our plan is to homeschool. But, it might not work for us. There are kids that do great in it and others that need the traditional school. By choosing to give homeschooling a try, you aren't saying you won't ever go back to traditional school - you just want to see if this works better for your kids. And you can still get them in classes so you can have a break :)

[SJ]

I think this is going to make you very happy! Go with your gut, give it a try. I bet it'll be just fine.

[SheilaB]

Molly,
There are a lot of parents that if they mentioned doing Home schooling I would laugh in there face and I am very serious about that. However, I am very confident that you will be a wonder Homeschooling Mother. After all you do have a teaching degree which if you ask me is a very good indication that you know what you are doing. LOL!! Not only that but you are a wonderful Mother and from what I can tell pretty intelligent in knowing what your childern need in order to survive. As you said it has worked this far so why not continue it!!
Even if later in life if your kids want to go to High School or something they can still do it, but right now I think it is a great idea and a very big decision!! Congratulations Mrs. Mom, I hope your students KJ, Jack, and Marin know how lucky they are to have such a wonderful MOTHER and TEACHER. LOL!!

I do want to add that not every Mom or the kids are cut out for Home schooling and that does not in anyway mean they are horrible parents or kids either. If it were me I am not sure I would be a good home shool Mom at all. LOL!!
I just wanted to add that so if others that it does not work for, would not think I saying anything ugly towards them.

BTW, you are a very nice looking clan there!!! OF course Marin is precious!!

Love ya,
Sheila

[Frema]

If anyone can be successful at this, it is you! Good on you for going with your gut and not the negative commentary. I can't wait to hear how it goes.

[H]

Good for you, Molly! And great for the kids, too! I *love* what you said about aiming for the most honest, most appropriate path for your life and have every confidence that you're already one heck of a great teacher. Yay for you for listening to your gut, for listening to your children and following their cues, and for being open to change and new opportunities. I'll be very excited to read about this new adventure (I'm hoping to homeschool eventually, as well). Good on you!

[Amy W]

If I have learned one thing with this being Ashley's first year in elementary school, it's that it all depends on the teacher. We are lucky to have a teacher that not only challenges (she is a 20 year veteran in teaching kindergarten, God Bless her), but I know there are kids in Ashley's class who are accelerated readers, and the teacher sends them to a reading specialist as much as she can.

I know you can do it! I would not be able to!

[Erica]

I say Go for it! If anyone will do a good job it would be you. I used to be of the mind that noooo homeschooling is bad (first year elementary teacher mentality/ conquer the world/ save all the kids, blah, blah, blah) but then I sent my first child to school and the first year was ok, if a bit of a repeat from pre-k, then the second year....I have realized that sometimes I would love to keep my kids home and teach them because I could push them so much further than they are being pushed at school, but due to life circumstances that isn't possible for us, but if you have the opportunity, grab it. Good luck! (sorry for the rambling)

[glamgranola]

Good For You!!! I still dabble with the idea. I really struggled this past year making the decision about where to send Mason. We finally decided on Montessori knowing full-well that it may or may not be the right type of schooling for Mason. Turns out it has been amazing! So for the next year he'll continue with Montessori. After that, it is all fair game.

[Parsing Nonsense]

Neato! Homeschooling really can be such a gift for children who are bright, learn quickly, and would be bored silly in traditional classrooms. If you have the temperament and relationship with your kid to make it happen, it's such a wonderful thing to do for them. Good luck!