LOST A SOCK

Update Shmupdate. Blog Shmog. Boring Snoring.

I've been teaching Jack how to rhyme. 

(Aaaaaand that's all I've got.)

I don't think I've ever been away from my blog for this long, this many times in a row before.  But thinking about writing an entry is like deciding to finish that dresser clean-out project I began three days ago.  I've dropped the ball, lost the momentum, and now, eh, I could get to it today...or tomorrow...or three days from now because really it will be there.  And so will I.

I sort of enjoy this Slow-Down time of year as a stay at home mom because it gives me the chance to just be quiet and experience a practically empty calendar, very different from other times of the year.  We are going to get an inch of snow today, or maybe three quarters of one.  Just like we did yesterday, and will again next Wednesday.  It will be bitter cold again today, and we cannot go outside.  I have a new baby this winter, who is now too heavy to lug around in her infant carrier with two other children donning heavy coats, hats and mittens, so we'll just stay home.  Again.  Nothing is pressing, nothing is really bad, or terribly exciting.  It just is what it is, and enjoyable in its own right.  The boys and I watched an hour-long Nova special on the annual migration of Monarch butterflies yesterday afternoon, and when we were finished there was nothing left but more open time. 

Hello late January, my old friend.

 

It's not that there is nothing going on, of course.  I've enjoyed seemingly ten thousand snowy sunrises and have returned to practicing yoga, which I began more than a year ago now, just before I learned I was pregnant.  I've also been been making nice strides in the Baby-Weight Loss Project of 09, now down 16.7 pounds, including even the 4.5 pound gain I had to re-lose after stuffing myself to the gills with every form of baked good available over three weeks of Christmas, New Years and Jack's birthday.  (Anyone else still on the dieting bandwagon?)

 

We finally had our family pictures taken for the first time since Jack was only twenty-one months old, 

 

and I've bundled and tossed these couple of yay-hoo's into the back yard every time afternoon temperatures have reached thirty degrees, giving them plenty of opportunity to enjoy their (poor) (pathetic) make-shift sledding hill slash snow fort.   (And therefore if you know of a magically created sledding hill within an hour drive of The Flatlands of Northwest Indiana, Do. Email. Me.)

This, giving me time to teach my four month old daughter important life skills, such as blowing raspberries for the internet.

 

In learning to make my own baby food (now on my third child, it's about time I give this a go, eh?) I recently checked out this book from the library.  And my word of advice would be, should you decide to research baby food recipes?

  

Reference books written after 1978, unless you're up for a healthy run with dairy-overload-far-too-early or fun with infant botulism.  I'm not sure if I was more surprised to see that eighty percent of the recipes in this book call for honey (and yogurt! and raw! apple! shavings! for a four month old!) or to know that this book is still on the shelf of our local library in 2009 for unsuspecting parents to stumble upon. 

 

And last but certainly not least, as a product of All This Stuck-In-The-House Thinking Time, Kevin and I have been having more serious talks about the possibility of alternate or home-schooling for KJ next year, or soon down the line thereafter.  Still seeing homework sent home (be it mostly age-appropriate, but still) and wasting our afternoon time on the words "see" and "he" all week for the sake of turning in the homework simply because it is the homework, when KJ is fluently reading level three readers, or writing numbers ten through twenty four when the child can add and subtract double digits in his head, is disheartening to say the least.  And while I have infinite patience and understanding for his teacher, who must meet the needs of forty-six kindergartners at many different levels of learning without so much as the help of an assistant, I know that as a teacher myself that I can meet my son where he is academically, and continue to grab his interest. 

I've begun looking into materials and costs and local support groups, opportunities for continued socialization and competition, and thinking about what it would take on my part to educate (eventually, three) kids on a daily basis at home, and what that will mean for our family's direction and my planned return to a career.  At this point, I'm just not sure that when I look down the road for the next fourteen years I am ready to commit to staying home for that long, and piling lesson plans atop the already massive workload that comes along with caring for a family of five, also considering the long work hours that Kevin takes on during the week.  I am completely unsure at this point, and very glad for the handful of months I have to make a decision.

If nothing else, maybe the kids and I can collaborate in after school efforts to write new baby cookbooks for our library circulations, no?

Baby? What baby?

This could not come at a more appropriate time.  I keep telling myself I will blog when I am A) Not Busy With Children/House/Errands/Shoveling Snow and B) When I Am Not So Tired. 

I am learning that those times coinciding are just NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.  So I am not shoveling snow, children are occupied, I am so tired my head is bobbing as I type this THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY SLEEP REGRESSION, but I really want to get back to blogging more regularly, so heresmy attpmt fallingaslepe sunzshine in windowz blindingme gaaahhhhh I missssss slleeeeeep.

I realized that I hadn't posted a picture of my baby in almost a month.  And since she is four months old, that would be a quarter of her life.  Congratulations, Marin.  You are now officially a third-born child in every way.

 

What's the deal, man? 

 

Naaaaaah, she doesn't mind.  

Now why don't you ask her about sleeping?  Ask her if she sleeps at night. 

Go on. 

Not through the night, ha, we've never done that.  I mean SLEE-PIIIIING at night.

 

Hahahahahhaahahahahahhaha silly stupid Mommy.  No sleeping necessary!

  

...hahahahahahahahahahahahaha... 

...HA!HA!HA!HA!...

 

Oh, oh, wheeeew that was funny.  Let me catch my breath.

No, we don't sleep.  She had me down to two feedings a night, which was considered good by some (fools).  Now I enjoy a good visit at least every hour or two.  Just like old times, eh Ma?

But I can remove my own socks, if that counts for anything!

 

Oh look.  A brother.

This brother is a rip.  He drives cars on our dog's head. 

I know the dog doesn't seeeeem to like it, but when the brother stops?

 

The dog begs for more.  See? 

 

Ohhhh no.  Keep that car away from me, brother. 

 

Mine!  Mwahahahah!  Nom Nom Nom.

  

Oh sure, I'm sure *something* can be worked out where you get your car back.

  

Hey look!  My Nameless Seahorse Pal! 

(Bad news for short memory, eh?)

Happy first day with our new President!  George who?  (See, my short memory DOES serve me in some ways!)

Blog, Interrupted

What better way to start the year with ... a few? ... projects that pulled me away from the internet for a while. 

Now, I won't lie.  It has been a bit hectic keeping up with my three little chickens and taking on a large magnitude of projects, but this has been so much fun to do.

And with fun, you know it must have something to do with paint in my house.

We took down our Christmas decorations a few weeks ago, which somehow spurred a serious cleaning and organizing jag.  Something with feeling my post-pardum-post-pregnancy-post-let's-get-this-show-on-the-road energy return completely to normal in the most wicked-compelling way, but this month has been dedicated to the running start. I cleaned closets and cabinets far and wide, and then decided it was high time that the bunkbedding begin, and Marin have her own bedroom (nevermind the fact she's still sleeping beside me.)  Then I added in a few decorative projects I'd been meaning to take on over the long pregnant year past, and painted my lower level family room.  And in addition to all that?  Marin learned to roll from belly to back, and I conquered the impossible by potty training Jack.  Hallelujah, there will be no jumbo packs of Luvs mailed with his Notre Dame University care packages.

No in-process pictures this time, save you from reading this for exactly as long as I was missing in action.  Just finished projects:

 

The Roommates!  They have been stacked!

With each discussion we had about the boys sharing a bedroom, they requested I use their favorite colors - Crimson Red and Hunter Green.  I had to figure out a way to satisfy all members of the house (read: myself) by steering clear of The Deep Dark Christmas Bedroom, and so I incorporated their favorites with a shade of tan.

And all the world (and the solar system, as well) was satisfied.

 

Likely, this picture documents the last time this room shall be categorized as Clean.  It now houses, in addition to two thrilled little boys, forty-two Geotrax trains, tracks, station and brother airport, seventeen Bionicle men, twelve thousand Legos, four hundred blankets and stuffed animals, two loaded dressers, one bursting bookcase and approximately twelve square feet of play-available floor space.

 

And combining that?  Made room for this! 

And not just a corner of her brother's room, anymore!

 

A full-fledged Neopolitan Ice Cream-Inspired baby girl nursery.

 

With board books to be read and new toys still in boxes, not to be played with or otherwise dismantled until she is ready for them.  

 

...Leaving us the luxury of an un-baby stuff stuffed bedroom of our own, if you can imagine.

 

...Inspiring me to paint and utilize an old basement storm window from our friends' turn of the century home as a picture frame above our bed.

 

And this one in our upstairs hallway, as well, using a doctored form of the Fingerprints poem.   

 

I also gave some badly needed attention to our living room couch pillows by making some new covers for them.  Less than seven dollars of fabric from the discount table and call it a day.

 

All of these projects brought to you by two weeks of on-again off-again snow and thirteen degrees below zero temperatures in the Midwest.

I never did manage to photograph the family room, but take my word for the fact that it was well past midnight, I was still in my paint clothes and highly delirious from fumes when I decided to cover over the lower-half blue walls I never really cared for.  That which was meant to mimic slate actually screamed 1982 COUNTRY GOOSE COOKIE JAR GETS A BLUE RIBBON ROUND HER NECK.  Now it says, "Relax. Dark Green was a better alternative, and free.  See bedroom above."

We finally ended all of the home decor madness with a different kind of madness, by hosting our Wisconsin Twins X Two pals for the weekend (do the quick math: we spent Friday through Sunday as a clan of four adults and seven children.  Seven children ages four months to six years.  Three of whom are barely finishing adventures with potty training, one who does not sleep through the night.)  Remind me to share with you sometime what it was like to take those seven children to the local TGI Fridays during dinner rush.  In my mind these outings are always so much simpler than when actually executed.  Go figure.

Three cheers for a productive January. 

Yes, yes, I'm coming back...

 

And next came 09, all fabulous and fine

Off the cuff I thought it would be a great idea to create a two-part blog entry regarding the years past and to come.  And once I decided to tally up 2008 in numbers, it was quite the easy write.  But the part I really didn't think through was the 2009 entry.  Because now that I have been kicking it around in my brain for a few days?  Cold feet. 

The nerves, I'm sure, have to do with the fact that my major focus this year will be on spirituality, which is my biggest priority, and in the same, something I'm just not ready to talk much about here.  And then too, though I've got my 2009 vision board displayed on my wall at home for all to see, I feel that my goals are something personal - something I'd rather not defend should I be called upon.

But in the name of authenticity, and sharing for the sake of What've I Really Got to Lose? let's throw some year-to-come goals out there, shall we?

I've created several vision boards in the last handful of years because I tend to be a visual person, and seeing my goals help me to focus on and acheive them.  Before tossing any read magazine at the recycle bin, I always take a pair of scissors to it and clip out pertinent and inspirational lines and pictures to be saved for later use on one of my boards, or to be taped to my fridge, bathroom mirrors or in the shower.  (Hi, I'm a magazine clippings junkie.)

My board for this year incorporates many different parts of my life including my marraige, family, house, hopes for upcoming travel, projects, spirituality, finances, material items I'd like to see make their way into my life, and things I need to remind myself of.  Keeping in mind that it takes just as much energy to dream a big dream as it does to dream small, I always attempt to stretch myself a bit when I make a vision board. 

(I do so love making these, and can't believe I've never shared one here before.  And also?  I can totally believe I've never shared one here before as I already find myself looking for the exit.)   

 

So, uh, my year to come on 28x22 foam board.  

I chose two words to focus on this year- Sincerity and Abundance.  With the first I hope to overcome some of my awkwardness by putting myself out there instead of the uncomfortable front I tend to put up with some my personal encounters.  I look to be more authentic this year, projecting who I really am and what I am moving towards instead of what appears to be most accepted at certain times.  And in focusing on my second word, Abundance, I plan to grab hold of everything life has to offer instead of putting limits on myself and my little family.  I learned in 2008 that if God is in me, and if God is in everything and everything in God, then I am not separated from anything I need- unless I allow myself to be.  I really want to put that understanding into practice this year.

The easy goals to share are that I want to paint a few rooms (surprise surprise) of my house this year (this weekend) and lose my baby weight, finally drive across the country on our Colorado-bound vacation, read, read and read, and teach my big kid to ride a two-wheeled bike.  I hope to finally have a major camera upgrade this year, and continue beading bracelets, pay off the lesser of our cars and keep ourselves on the right financial path. 

I look at my board when I get up in the morning as my alarm blares, as the baby fusses and my kids need to be dressed and fed for our race to kindergarten.  I try to find time to look at it intermittently throughout the day as I pass through my room and for a more prolonged time before I work in some afternoon quiet time, even if only little, for myself.  Having something physical like this helps to keep me centered and reminds me that if I am going to be a good provider for my family, I first need to care for myself.  I hope to never lose sight of that.

One of the major nasties for me in 2008 was my fifty pound (plus) weight gain.  Obviously it came from spending the entire year pregnant and then recovering from being pregnant, but just the same when you work so hard for so long at something that you always believed to be completely out of reach (by which I mean losing nearly one hundred pounds after Jackson was born) then finally acheive it only to have it torn down, it is incredibly difficult to handle, on levels even I did not expect it to be.  I dragged myself through the first month of post-baby dieting in November, and I really do mean dragged most days, until I gave up a bit before Christmas.  I then spent the next three weeks ingesting nothing but sugar day and night, most days until I felt physically sick.  I knew it could not go on forever, and recently I had to look myself in the mirror and ask what it was I really wanted.  I honestly love myself, and if it is spoonful after spoonful after cookie dough that is really going to make my life happy and complete, then fine, let's have it.  Call it a day and be fat if I can honestly reconcile that is where my joy is. 

But I knew that wasn't the answer.  I want my health and my energy back, and I want to be a good example for my children.  I had a good cry and promised myself that I would do this in baby steps, beginning three days ago, and I have. 

 

You may have seen in the forever-surplus media coverage that Oprah too, who is one of my personal idols, is again tackling her weight gain.  And it makes a difference to know I am not alone and that I am not the first or the only person to fail myself in something that was important.  I was very sad, and I still am, that I am back here again.  The baby steps, right?

Minimally, I feel like I have good momentum for this year already.  I expect that I will grin as I look at this board a year from now and know that I gave it my best shot, and mostly succeeded.  Pregnant years tend never to be my personal best, so I've got energy to spare on all fronts.

 

The proof being in the pudding for getting off to the right start as Kevin and I attended Dr. Wayne Dyer's movie premier in Chicago a few nights ago and actually tracked down and met the man.  (I almost died, I did, and then I realized that he is exactly as I thought he should be- the most humble and real person one could ask to meet, and probably one of the most influential guru's in Kevin's and my spiritual life.)

Oh 2009, the hopes I have for you.  

Ohhhhh Eight

With having Jack's birthday right there as we ring in each new year, I noticed that I've not ever written a Year In Review post or a Herrrrrre's What's To Come entry on this website -- even though I am actually a mite bit obsessed with a huge fan of reflecting on the past and planning for the future.  So if you'll allow me to drag the new year celebration on for just a bit longer (sure you can drink champagne while you read) we can take a quick look at my year past, and later the one to come.

When I think about 2008, now that we are all of six days into 09, I need a good cry.  Every time.  First I want to weep big crocodile tears of sobby sadness for the hard road that was last year, then some tears of joy and gratitude, and then back for a good long cry of relief.  We made it through 2008.  And frigging hell it was TOUGH.

I think 2007 was one of those years that makes the surrounding ones pale in comparison.  I felt most myself in 2007.  I had a ton of energy and on paper we really accomplished a lot.  We went lots of places and moved to a new house, Kevin took on a new job and I painted and redecorated and just felt healthy in so many ways.  I assumed that 2008 would be a continuation of the year previous and I could spend the rest of my life gleefully hopping around with two kids Enjoying Every Damn Thing (once we sold that pesky house, of course). 

Why hello Morning Sickness, where did you come from?

As can be imagined, I learned a lot this year.  I learned a lot about patience, and grace, and flexibility.  We chucked our plans for selling our old house and rented it out.  We chucked our plans for being a two-child family and opened our hearts to our new baby.  I chucked my plans for finishing my weight loss and for happily vacationing, and we put off every major purchase possible.  Some things really fell to shit, and some of them were rebuilt.  Some things I will never be able to discuss here, but, well, they played a large factor in The Crazy that this year was also.  I'm glad to see the year come to an end.  I'm grateful for all of the opportunities for learning that I was presented with, and I hope I came away understanding everything I needed to.  And my word, I am thankful for my happy sweet-smelling baby that came from this year. 

So here we go - 2008 In Review - In Numbers.

In 2008...

• I mowed zero lawns, dragged garbage cans to the curb only once, and shoveled snow only twice.  Ahh pregnancy, alas I find your perks. 
• We had 2 baby showers, 15 ultrasounds, 1 surgery, 1 tumor removed and 1 reproductive organ lost.  This year my body happily grew 1 beautiful six pound baby and I continued my long-standing career sabbatical to stay home, care for and educate 2 equally wonderful and energetic little boys (and then 1 adorable baby girl).
• In 2008 I consumed 467 pounds of cookie dough followed by a close second, 462.5 pounds of every variety of fresh fruit, canned fruit, fruit flavoring and fruity smelling non-fruit fruit.  I drank only 1/3 as much coffee as I would have, hosted 6 parties in our home, consumed 2 alcoholic beverages and gained 50 pounds (the calories in the alcohol, I tell you!)
• I changed approximately 4000 diapers in 2008, washed at least 1500 loads of laundry, had 2 houses flood, 1 roof leak, and 2 vacuums died.  I painted only 1 room in 2008, hid from 1 tornado, stepped on 984 legos, pinched 1 nerve in my upper back and fell down the stairs once in the middle of the night (and tore the thermostat out of the wall in the process, way to go on doing nothing half-assed.)  I blew my nose 14,982,227 times through the course of 17 colds. 
• In 2008 I ran the dishwasher at least 365 times and washed approximately 4 dishes by hand.
• Major purchases were limited to 1 larger vehicle, 1 winter coat, 1 television and innumerable pink baby sleepers.  This year we purchased 3 DVD's, no CD's, our first video game system as a married couple, and 1 video game.  I purchased 1 pair of shoes this year and no purse.  This year we went to no concerts, no movies, 1 musical, and paid 18 mortgage payments out of our savings veins pocket. 
• Holding strong, we managed to fully fund 1 IRA, rebuild our savings and close out the year without 1 dollar of credit card debt. 
• I read 2 books that influenced me in a major way, meditated at least 100 times and attended church only twice in the middle of an incredible spiritual journey.  I learned 2 very important lessons in 2008, watched my favorite documentary at least 20 times and claimed my personal stake as 1 huge History Channel Dork.
• I learned to love, appreciate and accept this 1 body that serves me whether it is baby-filled, overweight, well cared for or otherwise.  I quietly celebrated my 11th anniversary with Kevin, proud of its fruits, proud of what it took to arrive there.
• In 2008 we took no vacations but made our way into 4 neighboring states, attended no weddings, 1 wake, no funerals, 1 baptism, countless birthday parties.  I helped coordinate 2 classroom parties and rode a school bus 3 times.
• We scheduled 1 vasectomy and cancelled 1 vasectomy, no longer convinced that two 3 is our magic stopping number.  (Possibly I don't mind changing 4000 diapers a year as much as I think?)  I underwent 1 tumor regrowth check to find myself still tumor free and cancer free, hopefully forevermore, at least until February. 
• I kept up with 67 blog feeds, wrote 144 blog entries of my own and took more than 8200 pictures.  I read more than 1000 children's books, (mostly) potty trained 1 little boy, and taught my 2 boys about charity, hands-on, in 3 ways this year.  I made two sets of curtains, six pillows and my first quilt on my gramma's sewing machine.
• I mailed out 72 Christmas cards this year, and excitedly received 46. I was awful about responding to emails.
• In 2008 I sang hundreds of songs, cried more tears than I care to count, smiled thousands of genuine smiles and thanked God hundreds of times for all that we are blessed with.  Even when those blessings are wrapped up in an easy-to-exit year like 2008.

Merry Happy New Year Birthday

(to the New Year's Not-Baby)

We were sure that all of our New Year's Eves and New Year's Days would be different, from January 1st of 2006 and out.  After a long scary mess with pre-eclampsia and more than a month in and out of the hospital, we checked back into the hospital around 10pm on New Year's Eve of 2005 and it was decided that our baby boy would be delivered more than a month early, first thing the next morning.  At 8:21am, all four pounds and seventeen inches of Jack entered the world as our hospital's New Year's Baby -- a term that would come to aggravate him something awful by his third birthday, because HE'S NOT A BABY, he insists each time he hears the term "New Year's Baby."

At three years old Jack is the funniest, sweetest, craziest little fireball I've ever seen.  He is so much fun energy, and so dear to my heart, as he assumes his new role as our middle child - though certainly not one to get lost in the shuffle.  He is obsessed with trains, and the color red, and with orange juice and wearing no pants.  He loves to color and write notes to Papa (my dad) and he's recently taken an interest in the spellings of everything.  And though I can hardly believe it, he will start preschool this year.

It's funny to think about the kids - wherever they are in the present moment, and to realize that they were not always the way they are in whatever Now is.  In looking back at pictures of Jackson from his second birthday, he really looks almost the same.  Sure he's gotten taller over the last year and his hair has thickened, but it wasn't until I went back and watched a movie clip from his second birthday that I realized how much he has really changed in the last year, and what a baby he still was as he turned two.  (I also realized?  I need to take more video because holy smokes is time flying.)

So as birthday number three rolls around I thought I'd post a little video clip of our guy from (around) the time of each of his birthdays thus far.

First, ten months - or, The Time From Which I Could Pluck Him From The Computer and Devour Him Whole.

Jack's Second Birthday:

And a little clip from this morning, on his third birthday:

Happy Birthday Buddy Boy.  Here's to your best year yet.