And next came 09, all fabulous and fine

Off the cuff I thought it would be a great idea to create a two-part blog entry regarding the years past and to come.  And once I decided to tally up 2008 in numbers, it was quite the easy write.  But the part I really didn't think through was the 2009 entry.  Because now that I have been kicking it around in my brain for a few days?  Cold feet. 

The nerves, I'm sure, have to do with the fact that my major focus this year will be on spirituality, which is my biggest priority, and in the same, something I'm just not ready to talk much about here.  And then too, though I've got my 2009 vision board displayed on my wall at home for all to see, I feel that my goals are something personal - something I'd rather not defend should I be called upon.

But in the name of authenticity, and sharing for the sake of What've I Really Got to Lose? let's throw some year-to-come goals out there, shall we?

I've created several vision boards in the last handful of years because I tend to be a visual person, and seeing my goals help me to focus on and acheive them.  Before tossing any read magazine at the recycle bin, I always take a pair of scissors to it and clip out pertinent and inspirational lines and pictures to be saved for later use on one of my boards, or to be taped to my fridge, bathroom mirrors or in the shower.  (Hi, I'm a magazine clippings junkie.)

My board for this year incorporates many different parts of my life including my marraige, family, house, hopes for upcoming travel, projects, spirituality, finances, material items I'd like to see make their way into my life, and things I need to remind myself of.  Keeping in mind that it takes just as much energy to dream a big dream as it does to dream small, I always attempt to stretch myself a bit when I make a vision board. 

(I do so love making these, and can't believe I've never shared one here before.  And also?  I can totally believe I've never shared one here before as I already find myself looking for the exit.)   

 

So, uh, my year to come on 28x22 foam board.  

I chose two words to focus on this year- Sincerity and Abundance.  With the first I hope to overcome some of my awkwardness by putting myself out there instead of the uncomfortable front I tend to put up with some my personal encounters.  I look to be more authentic this year, projecting who I really am and what I am moving towards instead of what appears to be most accepted at certain times.  And in focusing on my second word, Abundance, I plan to grab hold of everything life has to offer instead of putting limits on myself and my little family.  I learned in 2008 that if God is in me, and if God is in everything and everything in God, then I am not separated from anything I need- unless I allow myself to be.  I really want to put that understanding into practice this year.

The easy goals to share are that I want to paint a few rooms (surprise surprise) of my house this year (this weekend) and lose my baby weight, finally drive across the country on our Colorado-bound vacation, read, read and read, and teach my big kid to ride a two-wheeled bike.  I hope to finally have a major camera upgrade this year, and continue beading bracelets, pay off the lesser of our cars and keep ourselves on the right financial path. 

I look at my board when I get up in the morning as my alarm blares, as the baby fusses and my kids need to be dressed and fed for our race to kindergarten.  I try to find time to look at it intermittently throughout the day as I pass through my room and for a more prolonged time before I work in some afternoon quiet time, even if only little, for myself.  Having something physical like this helps to keep me centered and reminds me that if I am going to be a good provider for my family, I first need to care for myself.  I hope to never lose sight of that.

One of the major nasties for me in 2008 was my fifty pound (plus) weight gain.  Obviously it came from spending the entire year pregnant and then recovering from being pregnant, but just the same when you work so hard for so long at something that you always believed to be completely out of reach (by which I mean losing nearly one hundred pounds after Jackson was born) then finally acheive it only to have it torn down, it is incredibly difficult to handle, on levels even I did not expect it to be.  I dragged myself through the first month of post-baby dieting in November, and I really do mean dragged most days, until I gave up a bit before Christmas.  I then spent the next three weeks ingesting nothing but sugar day and night, most days until I felt physically sick.  I knew it could not go on forever, and recently I had to look myself in the mirror and ask what it was I really wanted.  I honestly love myself, and if it is spoonful after spoonful after cookie dough that is really going to make my life happy and complete, then fine, let's have it.  Call it a day and be fat if I can honestly reconcile that is where my joy is. 

But I knew that wasn't the answer.  I want my health and my energy back, and I want to be a good example for my children.  I had a good cry and promised myself that I would do this in baby steps, beginning three days ago, and I have. 

 

You may have seen in the forever-surplus media coverage that Oprah too, who is one of my personal idols, is again tackling her weight gain.  And it makes a difference to know I am not alone and that I am not the first or the only person to fail myself in something that was important.  I was very sad, and I still am, that I am back here again.  The baby steps, right?

Minimally, I feel like I have good momentum for this year already.  I expect that I will grin as I look at this board a year from now and know that I gave it my best shot, and mostly succeeded.  Pregnant years tend never to be my personal best, so I've got energy to spare on all fronts.

 

The proof being in the pudding for getting off to the right start as Kevin and I attended Dr. Wayne Dyer's movie premier in Chicago a few nights ago and actually tracked down and met the man.  (I almost died, I did, and then I realized that he is exactly as I thought he should be- the most humble and real person one could ask to meet, and probably one of the most influential guru's in Kevin's and my spiritual life.)

Oh 2009, the hopes I have for you.  

Comments

[Sheila]

Molly,

I think that was about the best blog post I have ever read. It was truly from your heart and so wonderful. Girl, I am praying that you will find the Sincerity and Abundance that you need to make you life totally complete.

I have not met you personally but from just reading your blog you have been a big inspiration to me. I have no idea if you have read my struggles in life, I mean my blog or not, but I can say that reading your blog, and seeing how strong of a person you are has been a great help to me. I am sure if you have helped me that you had to help others that truly know and love you. LOL!! You are a wonderful, spiritual, and loving person and Mother! You will never loose that part of you.
As far as the weight loss! My dear friend, you just had a baby and had some other health issues to boot. Please do not beat yourself up over this. I know it is hard to deal with now but look at the beautiful little baby and that will make you realize it was all worth it. LOL!! You will loose it again!

Hang in there my friend as I said you have been and still are a true inspiration to others!

Love,
Sheila

[Jen L.]

WOW! I love this post! The vision board is an amazing idea! We use them all the time in the theatre, but I never thought of making a personal one. This would be much better than my current practice of spelling things out on the fridge with letter magnets! (oh, yes, I do) Thank you for sharing it with us. I know it's hard to open up a private part of your life like that in such a public forum, but it's really inspiring!

I hope 2009 is a fantastic year for you,Molly. I think it will be.

My motto for this year is "JUST BE." I feel like I'm at a place where I can finally stop focusing on the next thing and just enjoy where I am in my life.

[CPA Mom]

I pray that 2009 will be a wonderful year for you, for me and for everyone. I love your vision board - LOVE.IT.

It helps me too to see that even Oprah with all her money and resources, struggles just like us.

I did well until the holidays myself. Back on track to taking care of ME and being a better person - and weight loss will just be a happy side.

xoxo

[crookedeyebrow]

Molly-

I loved everything about this and you are inspiring. I just hope you know that. You, the best darn vision board maker, ever. I love it.

2009 is going to be an amazing year for you and I hope in one year you can look back on your board with pride knowing that you tackled it all.

Much love to you,
CE

[Bethany]

Molly, thanks for posting this. I love the vision board.

You can lose the weight. You know all the things I could say so I won't say them except, I'm pulling for you!

[Parsing Nonsense]

Thank you for sharing your inspiration board for this year! May you reach the highest heights of your furthest dreams. And surpass them.

[Bunny]

Molly, you're vision board is amazing. I've never made one, but now might be about the right time. And I am so excited for you that you met Wayne Dyer! What a great picture to have!

[Lisa]

Molly,

I LOVE the vision board. Can I "borrow" that idea?

As for loosing weight, well, you and I- we are in the same boat. My third baby was born in Sept and I'm just now thinking about doing something with all this extra weight. You can loose it, and so can I!

Good luck, Lisa

[Katie]

I wanted to make a vision board last year, but the people I learned about them from were really heavy into astrology. They call them treasure maps and insist that you cannot even open a magazine or buy a gluestick until the Aries New Moon in early April. Oh, and all the magazines have to be brand spankin' new, purchased the first day of the Aries New Moon. If you use old magazines, you'll ruin the prosperity-related energy of the board.

My religion and I do not believe in astrology, but I still felt superstitious about it -- like what if it didn't work if I didn't do it on the EXACT RIGHT DAY? A friend from my religion backed up the astrology people by comparing it to a seed -- no matter how much you want the seed to germinate, it simply will not if you plant it in January. Same if you do a treasure map in January. So I let the fear get the better of me and still haven't done mine from last April. Maybe I can talk myself into it by this April!

Does Dr. Dyer 'allow' vision boards to be made any time of year? I have his daily affirmation as my start-up page on my browser to be sure that I see it every day.