Slowly

I think it is finally safe to say that we've turned a corner.  Turned the corner and then sat down for a rest on the nearest doorstep, but turned it nonetheless.

Your recent comments and supportive emails lifted me up and helped me to feel better in a way that I could not have imagined, and without going completely cheesy-weepy on you all, thank you, for everything you shared with me and for giving me a break when I wasn't in a place to give myself one.

As if it isn't painfully obvious, I am my own worst critic.  Sometimes I think it's a good thing because I push myself to do all kinds of things that I might not otherwise attempt.  But not in this case, I am learning.

After my last entry I decided I had to try a new approach to this Handling Everything process.  I can't really say what the new approach is, but I can tell you that it involves daily naps.  When Jack goes down in the afternoon, after Marin has been fed, but not before I've showered or folded laundry, I set KJ up on the Wii and lay down with the baby on my chest, and sleep.  I've been averaging three to four hours per night, and up to two hours in the afternoon (if you can imagine KJ's delight with that kind of game time) and the daytime sleep has made a great difference in my ability to get through the very long days and nights.

To add to the growing list, Marin was diagnosed with Acid Reflux disease this week (just as both KJ and Jack had -- at least I am an old pro at this one) which is very much a contributing factor to her inability to get asleep and stay asleep during the night.  Generally speaking, once I lay her down she begins spitting up, wakes up, and we begin the rock to sleep process all over again.  Daytime sleep comes easier for her since it usually happens on my chest or in her swing or bouncy seat, all of which keep her upright.  The night sleep is headed in that direction as well, achieved best by both of us when I'm in a partially upright position on the couch with her on my chest.  Is not Whatever Works every new mom's best mantra? 

I am comforted by the fact that she continues to gain weight, making it to eight pounds two ounces at just shy of a month old, and I am hoping for good things from the Prevacid she started yesterday.  Her next round of kidney appointments begin soon, but I'm trying not to think about it for the time being.

Last but not least, I've been trying to take care of myself a bit more, with everything from a haircut and almost daily showers, to arranging to meet with a new OB/Gyn who will monitor me for any tumor regrowth and hopefully put my mind a bit more at ease with that whole situation.  I've also begun driving KJ to school every morning as opposed to walking him to the bus stop, and the getting out with all three, even in small doses, is raising morale.

I can hardly believe we've made it to one month already.  Temperatures outside are cooling down, the leaves are beginning to change, and finally it is my favorite, favorite, favorite time of year.  May the fall be especially good this year. 

Comments

[Nic]

I have a very good friend with a reflux baby who wanted to marry her Amby baby hammock for saving her life with her reflux baby.

As far as your ovarian tumor, I'm having my second removal on the 29th. I have benign cystic teratomas. Were they able to tell you what you have? Please don't hesitate to ask questions.

[Jen L.]

So glad things are going better for you! The pictures are beautiful. Continue to take care and thanks for updating us!

[Cindy]

Hey lady, I am so glad that you are trying to squeeze in some naps. It will so help you!

I love your new pics!!!

We can not wait to see you at the end of Oct!!!

Hang in there woman, your are doing a GREAT job!!!

Love ya

[debi]

I love that you sound so much better. I love the picture of you holding her with her tiny feet on your chest. You are looking beautiful. Marin is looking so much bigger already. Those boys look like they are totally in love with the new girl in town.My babies slept best and longest on my chest too. I would grab a book or just catch a nap myself. Like you said, whatever works. Fall is also my favorite time of the entire year.

[Stefanie]

Just for the record you, your hair, your babies and your pictures all look absolutely fabulous.

Regardless of how hard on yourself you might be, you still make motherhood look appealing.

[Liza]

Congratulations!! And everyone looks adorable.

[Tina]

the pictures are adorable and btw you look great in those pictures! =)

wow, I cant believe she is almost a month already! yikes, time totally flies.

And I started furlo (vacation). so, let me know when you want me to come over. I am working side jobs sunday-wednesday. perhaps Thursday? =)

later gator

[ann]

Wow! You look really great in those pictures! Glad to hear things are better.

By the way, does Marin look like either of the boys' baby pictures? She appears to have features of both of them.

[Melinda]

My baby slept in her swing all the time day and night for about 3-4 mo. There is nothing wrong with sleeping in the swing. She slept best there. Why would I want to mess that up? Now she's almost one and sleeps in her bed just fine. You just do what you gotta do. And who says she has to sleep in a bed anyway? I wish I could sleep in a swing.

[Stacey]

What great pictures! You look gorgeous (I'm JEALOUS - have not had a haircut in almost a damn year), and Marin, KJ, and Jack look adorable as always. I love your honesty about mothering - glad to hear it's starting to look up! And BTW, you know Delaney slept upright, strapped in her carseat until she was, um, eleven months old. And she did not have reflux. Whatever works? DAMN STRAIGHT.

[BetteJo]

Some of my very favorite memories with my babies is napping (them or me, or both of us) with them on my chest. I LOVED that. Glad you're getting naps - it really has to help. And your hair looks fabulous!

[The Bug]

Your hair looks great! I'm glad you're feeling better.

[bubblewench]

Your hair looks great. I am really glad to hear things are getting better for you. She is so beautiful.. nice photos!

[Frema]

I can't believe it's been a month, either! And I agree with everyone that you look fabulous and the kids look so darn cute together.

It was great to catch up with you yesterday!

[erica]

Molly, You look so beautiful in your pictures! Glad to hear you are squeezing in naps. Ben slept in his carseat on top of the dryer, most days. At night he slept w/ me in the recliner. My theory was sleep when and where you can. Have a great week.

[Hilary]

Wow, those pictures are wonderful. Everyone looks happy, healthy, and perfect. I hope this post felt as good for you to write as it did for me to read. One corner at a time. Keep up the amazing work!

[Kellie]

Amazing pictures!! The kids are as beautiful as their Mommy!!

My daughter had acid reflux when she was new. She slept the first 4 months in her baby Papasan chair in her crib or in her swing. That, combined with being on Tagament, made a HUGE difference. HUGE!!

I'm happy you're feeling a bit better.

[Amy W]

Um, first, I am TOTALLY jealous that Jack still naps. Audrey refuses.

And you have such a great attitude...you are an amazing person!

[CPA Mom]

Oh wow! Who took those amazing photos of you and the baby? Wow!

I'm SO glad you've turned a corner...baby steps...

[Rachel]

Beautiful pictures, Molly!! You look wonderful!

I am so glad that you are feeling better and finding some things that work for you. We have all done the "whatever works". You have to in order to keep your sanity, lol!

[Katrina]

Hey Molly,
Maggie had acid reflux BBBAAADDDD. Many a night I was in the laundry room coated in spit-up. I found putting her down for her nap/bedtime in her car seat worked wonderfully! When she was too big for that I adjusted the crib so the head was higher than the feet. hang in there!

[Nikki]

Hi Molly,

Your babies all look happy and your hair is gorgeous. It's good to know you're taking care of yourself. Enjoy your naps and look forward to all those lovely autumn days ahead.

[KARA!]

Glad to hear/see that you are feeling better!!! As everyone else said, I enjoyed the pics!

[Lynanne]

I've been there kinda sorta (though it's never the same I know) and my heart aches for you. There will probably be more bumps in the road and although it feels like an eternity right now eventually you can look back and it will seem an eyeblink in time. All the best!

[Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings]

She's beautiful.

I haven't been keeping up very well on all this, but hang in there.

My son had acid reflux and we slept in a recliner for almost a year. As soon as we had the acid reflux under control he started in with ear infections...having 11 of them in one year. It was a joy, really.

It is hard when you have to admit you can't do everything..isn't it?

You children are beautiful.

It is going to get better it really is. I know I will go through this all again someday when we decide to have a second one.

God bless.

[Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings]

That should say, "Your children."

[SJ]

I can tell from your photos in this post that Marin is quite the hit with her brothers. How sweet! And so very special.