First Trimester Crank-Fest

I remembered that there would be cravings.  I remembered that there would be sickness.  I remembered that I would be tired.

What I forgot?  Was that there would be hormone induced mood swings. 

Take Saturday morning, for instance, as we neared the front door of the mall and tears came pouring from my eyes like a tidal wave because realized that I can handle two kids at the mall on my own, but three?  I don't know if I can take three kids to the mall by myself.  Not that I even like the mall that much, but now what if I can't go there even if I want to?  I cried fifteen times on Saturday for both incredibly valid and incredibly stupid reasons.  Then I went to dinner that night with girlfriends, where one thought it the appropriate time to run through all the reasons why she might marry someday, but would never leave her career or have children.  The timing, I'd say?  Was bad.

What do you even say to that?  When you're sitting there, barely over the shock of your surprise pregnancy, eating a steak burrito the size of your head because there's nothing you can imagine doing with your life more important than satisfying your constant craving for meeeat, all the while trying to hold yourself back from sobbing in your refried beans because Staying home and having babies is the most wonderful thing I've ever done with my life but I'll be damned if I'll know how to handle three of them eight months from now WAAAAAAHHHHHHH. 

On top of the sadness, and possibly even worse?  The aggravation.

Everything irritates me.  Cereal box left on the counter?  Glad you're home for the weekend, dear, but Why can't you clean up after yourself do you think I am the maaaaaid?  The maid who is freaking out over having a sweet, cuddly third child who will keep me up all night and then how will I deal with kindergarten drop off the next morning and ohhhhhh poor Jack is losing his place as my baby sob sob sob.

I stood next to The Worst Kind of Mom of All at preschool pick up this morning - the one who I've been most blacklisted with for the shenanigans of my noisy toddler, and she pointed out to me what a good boy her fifteen-month old was.  "Look at him, just standing next to me so quietly!  He's not even moving!  Ohhhh what a good boy you are..."  Right, he's great.  He looks like a lump of playdoh.  Now if you'll excuse me I need to dismiss myself from tearing out your dangly earrings so that I can chase my two year old down the hall.  And also, what is this?  The fifties?  Where our children are considered good when they are neither seen nor heard?  The school secretary knows about Thomas the Tank Engine because my darling Jackson is sociable, happy, and one hell of a fast runner.

(It really is fair to assume that the blogger you once knew has left the building, and She From Hell will be taking over the place for a while.) 

I also went to Kohl's this morning, since pulling on so much as a pair of jeans lately might as well be dressing for the senior prom, and I purchased a tall stack of stretchy, comfy pants.  I'd call them workout pants, but there's about as much of a chance of me working out in these as there chance that I'll satisfy my animal flesh cravings with a stalk of celery.  Not happening.  I'm hoping that these pants will hold my twice pre-streched abdominal ligaments off for a while, because I couldn't bring myself to go near the maternity department.

I know that this entry is all over the place, and that I sound like I'm freaking out over the new baby.  But this entry is all over the place, and in the name of brutal honesty I'm telling you that I am freaking out over the new baby.  I love the new baby, and I want the new baby very much, but the new baby will be joining a team that is not mine.  It will be joining the Kids' Team, with a population of three, versus the Tired Mother's Team, where there is only one set of hands.

Adding fuel to the fire, because I don't have enough to stew over, it looks like we have another offer coming in on the old house.  They will be having an inspection tomorrow morning, before they write the offer.  Which is very odd, but whatever.  The world is quite upside down, and we need to sell the house in whatever way people would like to buy it.  We'll take every last dime we can get...for meat, and later, diapers.

Vive la First Trimester.

Comments

[Becca]

Have we met? Because I swear we respond in exactly the same way to the first trimester of pregnancy. Except for me replace "meat" with "salty, greasy, fried carbs".

[Stacey]

AAAHHHH, how I love this entry. See, you are my model for the Totally Together Mom Who Even Knows How To Run Power Tools. And so when I get to see you FREAK OUT, like ME? It delights me, though it realllllly shouldn't, because I like you!

Oh, my. All I can really say is welcome! Welcome to that special world of more children than parents!

You're doing way better in the clothing dept. than I did. Exactly one week after the pregnancy test came back positive, my jeans wouldn't button. When strangers asked how far along I was (AT SIX WEEKS), I just said three months to make it easier for everyone. And very sadly, all I wear, STILL is "exercise pants", which haven't seen actual exercise for a good two years. Pants with buttons are of the devil.

And also? MEAT. Good Lord how I craved it. With Garrett, I would have given my right arm for MORE SALAD, PILED WITH CHERRY TOMATOES, and ICE CREAM (every day). But with the girls, all I wanted was STEAK. Not that I'm hinting at anything.

Ooh, and one more thing, while I'm writing a novel. I always try to be last for preschool pick up to spare myself the embarrassment. My kids are very well behaved at school, but once I enter the door? Not so much.

Great post! :)

[Cindy]

Moll~ believe me, 3 is do-able!!! Don't stress about it. Get yourself a hefty dbl stroller and all you have to do is keep an eye on KJ. It's that simple!

Relax....go eat some bon bon's and let the "guys" do the house work!

Love ya.

[Dana]

Ya know those questions you plan on asking God one day? Near the top of my list is this one: When a woman gets pregnant, why does she get completely useless stretchmarks instead of an extra arm?

[Ashley & Family]

Seriously, I have 5 and I felt that exact same way with every one of them! Now, I am brave (crazy, numb, drunk) enough to take all of them to Target with me by myself. It will all be fine, but I will still pray for your sanity daily mkay :)

[Erica]

You can do this. I think you need my phone number and I can tell you allllll about my surprise, hello I'm freaked out,3rd pregnancy. Which 4 years later and no one has lost a limb, choked to death, eaten poison, and I think I might still have a shred of sanity left. What you are feeling is completely normal. Hang in there! As for your dinner "date" avoid all non-stretch mark baring females until your 2nd trimester;0)!

[Erica]

Ooooh one more thing to avoid "perfect" mummies, and their "perrrrrfect" children.

[BetteJo]

Oooh, good thing there is some distance between your readers and you!
Really, you sound quite normal for a woman with 2 and a surprise on the way!

[HollowSquirrel]

"Perfect Mommies" -- ewww, hate them & try to steer clear.

YOU, my dear, are a rockstar and all of these feelings are normal. I am having the same freakouts about taking care of TWO kids...so to me, you're like a hero, and I have complete faith that you will whip those three kids of yours into shape at the mall! lol. :)

BIG HUG to you (unless you're in the DON'T EFFING TOUCH ME phase).

[Frema]

It never ceases to amaze me, the comments people have for pregnant women. And for them to come from friends? Even worse.

Also, I've recently spent a lot of time thinking about the words we use to describe babies and even kids. "Good" and "bad" just don't seem right, do they? Like a three-month-old consciously decides whether or not to sleep through the night or something. Crazy.

You are a wonderful mother to KJ and Jack, and you will be to this baby, too. Like many of your readers have already said, if anybody should be having more children, it's you. :)

[Alexander Pavlovich Romanov, Autocrat of All the Russias]

First off, congrats, If I already didn't say that.

Second, I have no idea what you are going through but, as ever, I'm pullin' for you.

Third, the meat thing. One positive that I can think of - it seems that you crave protein. That is much better than wanting sugar or booze or something, no?

Lastly, perfect children. It is always those silent, Children of the Corn types who end up in church spires wearing a jock-strap and toting an assault rifle because they are emotionally dead. I would much rather rambunctious activity - you know where you stand then.

I agree with Frema...good and bad are a binary opposition that is not useful when describing behavior.

Stay strong.

[Amy W]

I have heard from my multiple friends with three kids that going from two to three is a piece of cake....or a piece of meat, whichever way you want to think of it.

[glamgranola]

Just like it was to figure out how to leave the house with 2, I have no doubt that you'll handle three with ease. It's just all an adjustment.

BTW, I craved protein with my first. I ate eggs all the time, sometimes 4 a day. Even during the hurl fest of the first tri-mester, I could keep eggs down! Mmmm...an over-easy egg on top of a buttery english muffin. Heaven!

[Hilary]

Bless your little heart. I clearly remember freaking out going from 1 to 2. So, I'm sure it's only natural to have some similar freak outs going from 2 to 3. Because yeah, you know have more kids than you do hands. I've kind of freaked out about that just thinking about #3, much less actually carrying #3.
Not that I need to tell you this but maybe you need to hear it....it will all be fine and you are completely normal for being all over the place and for freaking out over anything and everything.
Oh, and give yourself a pat on the back and a nice big Blizzard(!) for NOT tearing that woman's earrings out of her ears. Long live Jackson and the toddlers who are allowed to actually "be" toddlers.

[Liza]

I'll bet that annoying "perfect" mom is ridiculously insecure and her stupid harping on her kid's behavior is because she secretly wishes that she had a social butterfly.

You're a great mom. You're going to keep being a great mom, even if you're sometimes overwhelmed.

[Rachel]

Trust me, YOU of all people can handle 3!! You are a rockstar and can do anything!! Seriously, if someone as crazy as I am can handle 3 (mind you there are only 3 every other week, but still) and still want another, then anyone can do it!

[crookedeyebrow]

I was eating 23 ounce porterhouse steaks and all the trimmings when I was pregnant, not to mention dessert too.

I honestly can't remember my mood swings, I'm sure I had them.

But, whoo-hoo, another adorable lost sock addition!

[SJ]

I've heard that 3 is the new 2 - so many people tell me that it's way easier....

You can do it, I know you can!