Struggle

Our real estate agent said he would contact our prospective buyers this morning.  I wondered all morning what the young couple had decided.  I waited all morning for the agent to call.  At 11am I finally left him a message that might have included the words ANXIOUSLY AWAITING AN ANSWER, and then took my children bike riding, just to remove my focus from the possible outcomes regarding selling or not selling this house today.

It's nearly 2pm, and he has yet to return my phone call.

I do not understand what the problem is with this house.  It sat on the market for nearly three years before we offered them more money than we should have, had we known the lengthy circumstances.  Then three years ago, we let it sit on the market for a good six months before fall arrived, and we gave up, and remodeled, and kept it a while longer.  It's been three months on the market again.

Three months.

There are a few things we have control over in this situation: the price, the appearance of the house, and the property's availability for showings.  In all three of these arenas, we have gone above and beyond what we need to do, never passing on a showing, always presenting a pristine home without even a damn weed in the plant bedding, and recently lowering our asking price.

We've painted with neutral colors, we've packed away the clutter, we've baked fresh batches of cookies for showings, we buried Saint Joseph in the ground.

We've done everything that has been suggested.

What we cannot control is who comes through to view the house, and what their needs are.  If I could have visualized, miracle-ized, prayed, forced or otherwise bribed this house into selling to just one of those potential buyers in the last three months, I certainly would have. 

But I cannot control the preferences of picky buyers. 

Fairly often, things seem to go this way for Kevin and I. 

More often than not, we find ourselves on the hard road to the ends that others seem to reach so easily: pregnancy, financial stability, real estate, and the like.  We often find ourselves hoping and praying and waiting - pushing forward with everything we have, giving one hundred percent and more of what is required, but having the longer wait, the harder work.

I certainly would have enjoyed the college experience without the unbelievable weight of the debt that came with it, the early relationship years without the stress of disapproving relatives, the babies without the heartache of the infertility clinic, and the pregnancy without the sicknesses, the early years of stay-at-home motherdom without the financial disaster it created, finding the perfect preschool and then declining our spot in it.  Now we would like to move out of the home that was once the right size and place for us, into something that fits our growing family.

People accomplish this every day.

Thankfully, in each struggle we push through, we find our marriage and our little family to be stronger, and imaginably, the successes sweeter.  That's what makes all of these long, difficult processes worth it. 

But just once, I'd like the easy road.  I'd like to see the end of this road.

I'm tired of waiting.  I'm tired of wondering if this place will be good enough this time, or what we will have to do to finally get rid of it.  I'm tired of crunching budgets to see how low we can go or how much we will pay for past mistakes.  I would like to stop dreaming with KJ about his big back yard that will accommodate a swing set, and just give it to him already.  I want to invite all of our family and friends to my children's birthday parties, and not pick and choose due to the limited space in the house. 

I understand that this is the way life goes sometimes.  Sometimes cars break down, and sometimes the stomach virus happens.  I can accept that.

What I just can't accept is the fact that my husband and I have great intentions for our life and for our kids, and if we could just sell this place already, we could be on our way.  But we are still waiting.

Comments

[CPA Mom and Soccer Mom Angela]

There is nothing I could say that would make this all better so I'll just say, I'm here, I'm listening and this just SUCKS. Monkey balls.

[Liz]

Ha ha..."monkey balls."

This was a great post, you express yourself so clearly. I hear it, I feel it in my own little world. Why do these things have to happen?

I call it cat crap, Molly.

Having never bought or sold a home (I suspect we're to be life-long renters), I have no nuggets. From what "they" say it's a terrible market. And with the market the way it is, does that mean that people can be picky?

Who wouldn't want a home owned by a loving couple raising two beautiful children? The walls of your house hold wonderful memories and a happy aura. Who wouldn't want that?

[[did i just use the term 'aura?']]

[ashley&family]

I'm thinking of you! Hopefully you will get a good call today. I often feel the same way ...... except for the fertlity thing (which is obviously opposite of your problem)Things will get better - most of the time it happens when you least expect it.

[Alissa]

i can't say anything to really make the anguish you're feeling subside, but i do want you to know that i'm sorry!

i know the feeling of being so ready for the next thing and just wondering when if at all, it will come... 3 kids... still renting...?

i think our problem is the really crappy buying markets we've lived in... how do you say, "Southern California?"

[SJ]

I often wonder why people I know get everything handed to them on a silver platter with very little effort and yet me and my family struggle day in and day out just to make a go at it.

It's tough I know, but I totally know where you are coming from. Sending good thoughts you way.

[HollowSquirrel]

I hope the call came & you're too busy celebrating to update! I loved this post, even though for you it must have been difficult to write. You write it well, is what I'm saying. I wish you all the best with the move (which WILL happen!) and riding through the difficult times with your beautiful, supportive and strong family. HUG.

[Erica]

I totally feel your pain! I am giving money away right and left, trying to get our damn houses to sell. I also feel that sometimes people have life way easier than myself and my family. Then I take a step back, and look at what I really do have...a wonderful loving husband, a great marriage, and 3 happy, healthy, beautiful children. I think the saying is the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. Hang in there (which I know you are totally sick of hearing) and things will start to look up.

[KBlue]

I feel for you cuz it is a crappy sellers market right now, but hang in there. I know that in a few months we are going to be in the same boat with selling our place. I know it's going to take forever, but I guess I'm ready for the wait. At least it looks like our pesky neighbors might have moved with their 5 very bad boys. So hopefully that will help us to sell the place without them throwing rocks at our house or leaving their bikes in our lawn and so on...so much so on...I sometimes look at situations like things are easier for other people too, but then I have a good cry and realize that things could be much, much worse.

[Amy W]

I hope and pray the call came too...

Otherwise, I am going to send some sign flippers to your street to promote your house.

[Ginger]

Chocolate Chip cookies would do it for me! What is wrong with these people?

[Frema]

Take comfort that it's the market that's crappy, not your house. And though things have been hard for you guys, you've always come out on top.

I'll keep my fingers crossed!

[Rachel]

I just wanna say I'm sorry. Big hugs!!

[Rachel]

Also, call Sell This House!

[Hilary]

Oh but Molly, you said it, you come out stronger and better, you really really do. I know this sucks but it's happening for a reason. Maybe your perfect house, your dream house? Maybe they just broke ground on it yesterday and it's not ready yet. BUT it will be in five months when you finally get an offer. Try to keep looking at it that way. I sincerely believe that one day I'll read about you or Kevin in some inspirational book or magazine article or newspaper column or something. I do. I think you both have huge things coming your way and everything that is happening right now is happening for a reason. A reason that one day will be clear. Hang in there.